The results are in...guess who's #1?

The results of LA Ball Talks team blog contest are in. And once again, Jazz fans have made it clear that True Blue Jazz is their favorite Jazz blog on the Internet. Thanks to all who voted. Stay tuned because we have big big BIG news on the way....Prepare for Jazz heaven.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Playing psychologist for the night

Dr.: CJ, how do you feel about the new guy on the team?

CJ: Damn you Kevin O'Connor, damn you to hell!!! Just when I was starting to get out of Jerry's dog house and get some minutes you go and make a trade for a guy that is going to remind coach of Horney. I only had to play better than that dux-bag euro guy and now I have to play better than Ashton Kutcher. Oh wait, now I can go back to making up funny handshakes, this might not be too bad.

Dr.:Coach Sloan, how do you feel about the new guy on the team?

Sloan: Man am I glad that I don't have to play CJ any more. I can't stand playing 19 year olds.

The Stats:

Number of times that Lamarcus Aldridge made that spin while hooking the defender and got away with it - 49

Number of times the old Jerry Sloan would have gotten a technical because of the refs - 23

Number of wives watching the game with their husband who asked, "When did Ashton Kutcher start playing basketball?" - All of them.

Number of wives watching the game with their husband who said to themselves, "If the Jazz win and my Husband wants to "celebrate" I can think of the new guy and get through it with a smile on my face." - All of them.

Final Thoughts -

Happy new years Jazz, you are one game better than .500 and in third place in your crappy division. I am still really sceptical and bitter until I see some more consistent effort. If by the end of January you are 7 games over .500 I will put both feet back on the bandwagon.

P.S. As a good standing member in the community I can not reccomend Google searching "CJ Miles" and then clicking on the images button to search for funny picture of the Jazz star. Apparently, he has an, ummm, night job. I feel like you all need to know this.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Jazz are worse than once thought

I do think bringing in korver was a good move, but we need a better defensive stopper. Memo on defense is beyond soft. The only thing he is good for is spreading the floor on offense. Well, not any more he has lost his money shot and is now shooting I.O.U.'s which we will never be repaid on. We need to trade him before he has no stock left. Oh wait that already happened.
As a jazz fan it pains me to say this but, Chris paul has never looked so good. Deron Williams will be lucky to get a single coach's all star vote. Because he won't be getting any fan votes. I hate the Jazz right now. I agree with Boler and I too will boycott the Jazz until they are at least 5 games above 500. At least on live t.v. so I can fast forward through missed layups, lazy passes and all defensive breakdowns.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

12.29.07 Jazz vs. Celtics

I refuse to put the Jazz header back up on this blog until they win a game. This is becoming unbearable. We are at .500. How pathetic is that? My depression cycle is back to stage 2 which is anger. We should not have lost this game. Here's why we lost:

1. Deron's turnovers are killing us. 7 turnovers Deron? Freaking 7 turnovers?
2. Offensive rebounds: Boston 14, Utah 6. Boston is ranked 29th in the league in offensive rebounds.
3. 68.4% Free Throw shooting by the Jazz. I shoot better than that in church ball.
4. Andrei sitting out.

and last but not least

5. We had lost mentally the minute Boston took the lead in the 4th quarter. Paul Pierce goes off for 23 in the 2nd half after having 0 in the first half.

I am just mystified as to why we are playing so poorly.

I am BITTER. And I will continue to be bitter until the Jazz are a minimum of 5 games over .500.

Good thing we have the red hot Portland Trailblazers coming to town . We can now finish the year at a respectable 16-17.

Giricek out. Korver in.

PHILADELPHIA -- The Philadelphia 76ers acquired guard Gordan Giricek and a first-round draft pick from the Utah Jazz for guard Kyle Korver on Saturday.
Giricek, 6-foot-5 shooting guard, averaged 4.3 points in 22 games for the Jazz this season and has career average of 9.8 points per game in six seasons. He recently missed three games following an argument with Jazz coach Jerry Sloan during a game, after he was kicked off the bench and sent home from the team's road trip.

"We are excited about acquiring a player of Gordan's ability, as well as an additional asset in the form of a first-round draft pick," 76ers general manager Ed Stefanski said. "This move will provide us with increased salary cap flexibility this offseason and also allows us to continue our evaluation and development of the young talent we have on this team."
Korver averaged 10.0 points in 25 games with the 76ers and was their top 3-point threat. Korver played four seasons with Philadelphia, averaging 10.5 points and shooting 42 percent.
"I want to thank Kyle for the positive impact he has made on this team and the city of Philadelphia through his play on the court and, even more importantly, his philanthropic efforts off of it," Stefanski said.
Giricek and Sloan had a heated exchange during a second-quarter timeout in Utah's Dec. 19 loss at Charlotte. Giricek, whose relationship with Sloan became strained as his playing time diminished, was sent to the locker room, then sent home, and he was not immediately reinstated. He missed eight days before returning to the team Thursday.
Giricek met with Sloan and Jazz GM Kevin O'Connor on Thursday. At the time, all said they would move forward and focus on the future. None of them would discuss the details of their meeting.

Friday, December 28, 2007

12.28.07 Jazz @ Lakers

I'm not even going to waste my time writing about this game. You shouldn't even be wasting your time reading this. Find a new hobby, read your scriptures, shovel your neighbors walk, or become a Lakers fan; all of these options won't make you think about suicide.

2006 Jazz vs. Mavs

Last year I had the chance to be the RC Willey Guest Photographer of the game during the Mavs vs. Jazz game. It was cool to sit on the floor and hear the game up close. Here are a few of the pictures I took. Just some of my favorites. Enjoy.

My personal Favorite. What are you doing Dirk?

Thursday, December 27, 2007

12.26.07 Jazz vs. Mavs

1st Half:

Well I can't think of anything negative to say about the first quarter. This is the first time in a long time that I felt like the Jazz were the better team out on the court. Jumping out to a 16-0 lead set the tone for the game. I think about half of the people who had tickets for this game were waiting outside to see how the Jazz came out. The minute they started strong the stadium filled up quickly. I don't blame them. Why go to watch a struggling Jazz game when you can walk over to Gateway and stand in the ice cold water fountain and freeze your boys off just to punish yourself for purchasing tickets to the Jazz?
The 2nd quarter wasn't quite as smooth for the Jazzers. Dallas dropped into a 1-2-2 zone and really put the clamps down on our boys holding them to only 18 points (the Jazz scored 11 of those points in the last 3 minutes of the quarter).

2nd Half:

I love the way AK was playing this game. I can't believe I'm going to type this, but I actually have felt really good about him launching jumpshots and three's the past two games. He looked confident in the Miami game and it continued tonight. You can actually see the difference in his ball rotation and his follow through (I'm not a shooting coach, just a run of the mill church ball player). If he can continue to keep his confidence up and make outside shots, his game will improve because the defense will have to respect his pump fakes.

I was glad to see Memo back out tonight. As much as I was calling for his head, it was refreshing to see us at almost full strength. I thought he played a good game for coming off a 7 game recovery.

Jazz did a nice job of holding off Josh Howard and Jason Terry (0-10 for the game by the way). Dirk got his but I think for the most part, the majority of the Mavs starters were held under their season averages. A nice win for the Jazz. They needed this one bad, really bad.

Final Score: Jazz 99 Mavs 90

For the record: I'm still not a CJ Miles fan, so don't think you'll be converting me anytime soon.

Thoughts on Gira: The Jazz need to cut ties and get out of a contract while they can. I am all for trading him for a 2nd round pick and cash considerations. We're going to need the cash for Millsap and Williams. I have been a Gira supporter in the past (I have a "friend" who is looking to get rid of a #10 Jazz jersey for the right price, just contact him, with an offer). Don't forget how big of a role he played in the Houston series last year. He just shows flashed of the player he could be, but I don't see him turning it around here, especially with Jerry at the helm. Now is a great time to bring Morris Almond into the mix and start giving him some scrub minutes (Hope you all saw that he dropped 51 in a game last week and he leads the D-League in scoring).

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Gira's Gone

It is amazing how good a team can do when the cancer is gone. I am in no way saying he is the only reason we were losing but, I do think team chemistry has a lot to do with it. I really hope the Jazz can run off a couple wins to get a little bit of momentum.
The Jazz at this point need to focus on the playoffs instead of the western conference finals. I will have to say I was sold on them until this losing streak. It makes me wonder how good we are. Once the rest of the league realized are defense was soft it was lights out.
I still love the jazz and will continue to watch these kids grow and develop.

The Whis

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

12.19.07 Jazz @ Bobcats

Let me start by being completely honest. I watched this game on DVR on purpose because there was no way I could stomach another loss in real time. No real highlights to speak of other than I enjoyed Papa Boozer sitting with the talking heads. It was the most exciting thing I've seen in a Jazz game since the "Quick Changers" at halftime.

I want you to know the only reason I am blogging about this game is because I have to do something to keep my sanity.
Doesn't Ronnie look like he is about to cry in this picture. Don't worry Ron Ron, I'm crying with you. When did Gerald Wallace become the reincarnated Celtics of the 80's? Shoots like Bird, dribbles like Ainge, blocks like Parrish, plays defense like McHale. I hope the Jazz are getting Christmas Cards from all of these mediocre fools who turn in to All-Stars against us. Here is what a few recent cards could say:

Dear Jazzers,

Merry Christmas! Thanks for the opportunity to play in the All-Star game this season. I appreaciate your complete utter lack of defense. Cheers,

Josh Howard

Or this one:

Querido Jazz de Utah,

De agredezco por no guardarme en mis siete anos aqui en el NBA. Espero ver les de nuevo porque asi puedo notar un juego con 60 puntos. Feliz Navidad!

Manu Ginobli

Or a Team Card:

Dear city of Utah,

Thanks for the Division. Finally we are able to win a division despite being the second best team in the Northwest. We have enclosed a box of headbands for you to wear as a team so at least when you're on ESPN people think you're us. Peace out wiggas!

Denver Nuggets

Five Stages Of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation: After the San Antonio game I figured it was over and this was a fluke.
2. Anger: The first loss to Portland. How do you lose this game at home? Pathetic.
3. Bargaining: The Phoenix loss was labeled as a "good loss". "They are just such a good team". Who were we kidding? There is no good losses.
4. Depression: The second Portland loss started me on this stage, and the Hawks loss solidified it.
5. Acceptance: Tonight after losing to the Bobcats I realized we really are a .500 team. Deron has no will to live and has handed his All-Star ticket to Chris Paul . Brewer and AK were once defensive specialists and now are average at best. The Giricek incident was classic. We have fallen apart. This is rock bottom for me. I actually miss Memo.

Let us not lose hope. Following Booners lead, the words of Dwight Shrute:

BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fist] Not only the years we've been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle [bangs fists again] a never-ending fight, I say to you [bangs again] and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! [applause] Bloggers of MY UTAH JAZZ DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. [even bigger applause as Dwight gives a horrible sounding laugh] No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you Jazz is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers (no offense Booner), and door to door charlatans (Hey Elders). This is our duty to change their perception. I say, Jazzmen– and women – of the world... unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND...Audience: ...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!


Dear Santa,

I know that you’re little busy this time of season but as you can see our TEAM moral has hit an all-time low…Now I know people never ask or thank Santa for winning games, but maybe its time. I think the Jazz should try changing things up and ask for your help…Obviously defense, free-throw shooting, passing or basically the fundamentals are not working. Santa kids wish for cell phones, Ipods, Wii’s or anything that’s over $200(wishing I was a kid again), but as adults we want two things.. 1) Nookie(sorry but its true). 2) Jazz to play hard, plain and simple. Santa the problem is number two is really putting a damper on number one, don’t ask me why. So, Santa if you could find the time to help all Jazz Blogger’s this season we in return will bring down the Alamo…Thanks Santa.

Tumble Weeds...

Thanks for nothing Jazz. Not only have you ruined our hopes and dreams...
you've ruined friendships and hours of countless blogging. Oh and you've ruined Christmas. In the words of Michael Scott...mingled with my own, "Happy Birthday Jesus.....sorry the Jazz are so lame."

Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Seasons Over!

Two Pics to describe our night:

1. Here is how we felt after watching our Jazz drop their 6th straight.

2. Here is how our wives felt about us watching the Jazz drop their 6th straight.

If that's not a lose-lose situation, then I don't know what is. Thanks for the memories Jazz. Let me know when you decide to play like a team that gives a damn.


Friday, December 14, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wake me when its over

Well, I am officially on strike. At least we lost that game because of turn overs and bad foul shooting instead of no effort on defense (until the 4th quarter). I feel like the jazz are trying to see how many different ways they can loose in a row. I have nothing more to say than Ugghh and Sighhhh...........

Pass the Prozak,

Boozers Hammy

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

12.11.07 Jazz vs. Trailblazers

The Jazz have put me in a full blown depression. Thanks Jazzercizers.

1st Half


2nd Half

More Depressing

Final Score: Jazz 89 Duxblazers 97

<---- Number of times I felt like this guy tonight: too many to count.

The Best Names in the Game

While we are talking about bad names for sport stars may I submit the best top 10 list ever:

Check out the other lists at the bottom of the article for even more fun.

Have a good day!

Monday, December 10, 2007

and on an unrelated note......

Sorry this has nothing to do with the Jazz but, how are they going to pronounce this guys name:


Debbie Downer

I realize I am kicking every Jazz fan while they are down, but this is the only way I get to vent. I tried to vent my Jazz frustrations on my wife but after thirty minutes of straight venting all she had to say was...."I didn't know you even liked Jazz music."
Anyway, one thing I have learned over the last week is that we just aren't a championship caliber team yet. I really though we might have been but after losing to the Kings, Spurs and Mavs the way we did, I just don't think we are there yet. Maybe I should not have held them on such a pedestal, but I did....only to have the pedestal kicked right out from underneath them.
So, from here on out I am lowering my expectations. Probably too low actually. I am not counting on winning the division, but a good second place finish coupled with a 6th or 7th playoff seed will do.
R.I.P Old expectations, you will be missed.
P.S. Here are my thoughts on last week. (There is some positive stuff here so if you haven't already slit your wrists, continue on.)

Positive Thoughts:
1. Deron Williams is the sh*#!
2. I might get tix to tomorrow nights game
3. We are still in the top ten of this weeks Power Rankings....meeting my expectations:
4. Boozer is good too

Negative Thoughts:
1. I hate Manu the Flopper
2. See ya Memo.
3. Manu is a Dux
4. I do not wish injuries on many, but I hope Manu blows his knee out flopping and never plays basketball again.
5. I might not get tix to tomorrow nights game

Mixed Thoughts:
If Manu is available, we should try and get him.

Seasons Greetings,


Sunday, December 9, 2007

12.9.07 Jazz @ Mavericks

Deron Williams - PG - Utah Jazz

He has officially arrived at NBA Super Stardom

I don't think any of us really thought the Jazz were going to win this game, especially after the loss to the Spurs the night before. However the last two games have shown us that the Jazz are lucky enough to have a legitimate NBA Super Star. The losses will come and go, but I am pumped like never before to see Deron becoming an elite PG right before our eyes. I actually loved watching this game because Deron just took over. I know there were a lot of things wrong with the Jazz, but I love watching Deron Williams play. I've been converted. Go Jazz and Go Deron.
Final Score: Utah 117 Mavs 125

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Trade Memo

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I need to get this off my chest

1 - Eff you refs! (47 free throws for the Kings, 22 for the Jazz.)
2 - Eff you John Salmons! (You are not that good, just got lucky lst night.)
3 - Eff you Ron Artest! (He's just a dux bag.)
4 - Eff you the guy sitting behind Boler and Boone all night saying "In your face Sloan" so loud that everyone could hear it!
5 - Eff you Brad Miller! (You are not black, stop wearing corn-rows and head bands.
6 - Eff you Jazz defensive effort! (Thanks for not even trying to stop somebody last night)

OK, now I feel a little better. However, I am officially scared to see what happens against San Antonio if that is how the Jazz are going to be playing on this road trip. I hope Sloan lights them up like Temple Square at practice today. I bet he breaks the all time record for most F-bombs in a sentence. And just when I thouhgt that bench might be okay, they get hammered by John Salmons and Francisco Garcia.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Welcome Back Memo!

Good win for the Jazz last night. Although I was disappointed the Fezanator was not there, at least Memo decided to show up. Booze looked great too. I can't believe he actually played. Very Malone-esque wouldn't you say. I wonder if I should make a public apology for land blasting the guy the year he sat out. I thought it was a conspiracy and that he wanted nothing to do with Utah and their Mormon ways...but he has stepped it up and proven me wrong. Sorry Booze, I just got scared.
Anyway, on to tonight's game at Sacramento. I'm a little worried because these are the games we always struggle with. K. Martin is going to score his typical 60 on us but I feel we can pull it off. It will be stressful though (not near as stressful as my Pats last night. Thanks Pats for giving me two ulcers, three cankers and a nice hole in the living room wall.)
Anyway, my prediction Jazz 103-Queens 102. I'm already stressing about it. Dear Whistle, AKA Mr. Anxiety, don't watch this one. Or if you do, I would start popping the Zoloft.

Let's Do This - Booner

Monday, December 3, 2007

I love YouTube almost as much as I love the Jazz!

First of all, sorry for the no-show on the Blog over the last few days. I've just been busy with the Holiday's, Work, Shingles, Pregnant Wife, Porn, Scouts etc. Just been really busy. But any who, I'm committed to the Blog this week and there is no better way to start my commitment to the Jazz this week than with another YouTube clip...that has nothing to do with the Jazz.

I'm going to be honest, I have seen a lot of YouTube Video's but this one just made it to the top of my list. (Well, with the exception of the Squirrel Water Skiing or the Bulldog Skateboarding.)
But this is also why College Basketball will always have more passion than the NBA. The fact you have kids who care about the game so much that they choose to eat their own booger other than simply blowing it on the court like most NBA Pre-Madonna's do. Just Classic. Can't wait for March.

And now, on to the real reason for this Blog, our Utah Jazz. I don't know about you but this season just feels like a Pure Adrenaline Rush. Loved the Lakers game. Very impressed that we did that without the Booze Hound. I will be honest when I heard Booze was out, I said to myself, I won't be watching that game. So, very impressed to say the least. I know I am two days late on responding to this game so I will wrap up the old news but leave you with my favorite clips from the game.

1. How can we ever get rid of this guy???

2. Sit down Fish.


Saturday, December 1, 2007

ha-ha Kobe

If you tivo-ed that game last night, I suggest you keep it. That was maybe the closest thing you will ever see to perfect offensive basketball being played. Especially the first half. Just a few stats to back up my claim of perfection.

In the first half, the Jazz scored 70 points and only three buckets were made from outside the paint. If you minus the free throws I think that they had a total of about 50 points in the paint for the first half. I dont think the Jazz stopped their pre-game layup line, it just continued right into the real game. For the entire game the Jazz scored on 7 shots outside the paint and 4 three pointers for a total of 26 points. They also made 24 free throws so if you add the jump shot points and free throws together you get a total of 50 points. That means that the Jazz scored 70 points in the paint for the game. I just could not get over how easy it was for the Jazz to get inside on those pansies.

A few thoughts on D. Fisher's return. I am glad that he is not on our team now. He is no better than Jason Hart and we save a ton of money for D-Will. I really loved watching Derron fake him once or twice and then leave his old ass sitting at the three point line while he was scoring another bucket in the paint. That double cross over move D-Will is putting on guys is just sick.

One last thing, can we officially put Collins to sleep and let Fess take the back up center minutes? I was giggling with pure joy when he was in the game. He basically is a perfect fit for what the Jazz need down low. I am officially in Man-Crush mode with that guy. I will be interested to see if gets to stay up with the big boys for the rest of the season. I bet the owner of the Flash just threw up in his mouth watching his big money player do so well. They may as well scrap their entire marketing plan because I dont think Fess will be with them much.

Boler Was Right

How about this Fez kid? I watched him a little with a D-team. He is a lot stronger than I thought he would be. I loved the unselfish pass on the fast break where he could of thrown it down, but he dished it to C.J. "The Handshake" Miles. Who does that anymore? That's right no one. I love this guy and his team first attitude. I also loved the post game interview with his shirt off. But, Ak stole the show. He has never looked happier than he did out there. Deron was great as expected. Milsap Played like an 8 footer. All around great game. Not to sound gay, but I had the I'm proud of these guys chills the whole game. I really think the Jazz should think about Memo's future with the team. This year he has had one good game.

Here's to the Jazz playing awesome, referee's falling down, Brewer licking his lips, Gordon on the bench, and the Jazz winning the title.

Friday, November 30, 2007

11.30.07 Jazz vs. Lakers (The debut of Kyrylo Fesenko)

1st Half
Move over Paul, I have a new man crush...and he goes by Kyrylo Fesenko, or Fes in my living room (and everyone elses, just wanted to make it sound like I made it up).

Whistle Nuts and Booner can vouch for me that I was a fan of this guy well before tonight's game. What a great first game for the new Jazz man. Henry Abbott of ESPN's True Hoop column loves this guy and deserves a lot of credit for bringing him to the forefront of NBA writing spotlight. The guy is an interviewers dream. He provides awesome quotes and fresh humor. And the best part is, he has the game to back it up. He will be starting in Utah within 2 years. No need to resign Memo. We have our defensive big man right here. I really felt like a father watching his son play. I don't have kids, but Fes is as close as it gets for me right now.
I am blown away by AK right now. Talk about showing up.
Deron needs a big game on national TV to make up for his lame showing against the Hornets. He's off to a great start tonight.
2nd Half
I am sick of Kobe's face. Not only because I hate him, but I'm just really sick of looking at it. I swear that guy gets 50 close up camera shots a game. Honestly, I just get bored looking at it. Did Giricek go and get a part time job working the Double Shot booth at Lagoon? Because I haven't seen him for a while. How about Paul Millsap playing center. Love it. I bet it makes other tall centers feel like duxes. Getting out rebounded by a 6'7 guy. I bet they go back to their bench and justify getting out rebounded "dude, he's got long arms though".
Here is a picture of Kobe doing a double fisted pelvic thrust to some platinum blond in the crowd wearing a number 8 Kobe jersey. "It's okay baby, the only number you need to worry about is 911". Side note: I loved the boos the crowd was giving to Fish every time he touched the ball. Hey Fisher, we all see right through your lies. Not only are you bad at lay-ups, but you couldn't even look into the camera at your press conference and just tell the truth. Pathetic. (I'm not bitter, just open about my feelings.)
The Jazz obliterated the Lakers tonight. Keys to the game:
1. Holding Kobe under 30
2. Playing Fesenko more than 5 minutes
3. AK-47 and his 20 pts
4. AK-47 and his 11 assists
5. AK-47 and his 11 rebounds
6. Jazz had 14 steals (AK-47 had 6)
Not much else to say other than my Jazz Affair is in full force right now.
Final Score: Jazz 120 Lakers 96
Number of proud tears I shed for Fes tonight: 3

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Umm, was it just me or was that game last night completely boring? I bet there were only 54 fans in the stadium. It was so quiet that you could hear every word Boozer said all game. At least we won, that is all I have to say about that game.

Monday, November 26, 2007

11.26.07 Jazz @ Knicks

1st Half
I hate the Knicks. How are we down even though we are shooting the lights out? Oh, because the Knicks seem to have sold their soul to the Devil. Why is it that these lurps can come out of the gates and shoot the ball like this? I wonder how many yards of fabric it takes to make one Zach "Fat Head" Randolph headband? Probably a small herd of sheep.

2nd Half

I really hate the Knicks. This game had heartbreak written all over it. You know when your team comes storming back and you really think they are going to pull off a sweet comeback? I never once had that feeling this entire game. I honestly could have told you that we were going to lose by 2-6 points prior to tip off. Deron played incredible. Boozer did his part. The whole team honestly played pretty good basketball. The Nipperbockers just made so many of those floating running floater runners that even Brock was jealous. Overall, we lost that game thanks to two turnovers with 90 seconds to play. Poor ball management...but I still dream all my dreams in Jazz Blue. (sigh) Go Jazz.

Final Score: Jazz 109 Knicks 113

Number of times I said to myself outloud "I hate the Knicks"? 22

Reason #1,013 I hate the knicks (see below)

Jazz on the Move...

So here I am again posting something you have already seen, but at least I'm posting something right. I am trying to decide if I am going to watch another Jazz game again because I have not watched any of the last five games and what have they done....five "w's." In fact, Friday night Hammy and I were watching the game via ESPNEWS and I guarantee you have never seen two people more interested in score updates than Hammy and I. For a moment in time we felt like we were living in the pre-television days where you had to sit by the Radio to get your Sports Fix.
So, anyhow, on with the Rankings. I think we are exactly where we should be. I would be lying if I thought we could take any of the teams above us. We may have a shot in a series, but I don't know. I was at the Magic game last year and watched Dwight Howard make us look like the Bingham Bulls did when we played that team from Oakland. Remember that C.B.? Ewww. Sorry man. That was low. Especially considering my total amount of playing time with the Bulls was equal or less than your time trying out for the team. So please, forgive me. We will always have that '86-'87 Bingham B-Team though. In fact I just researched the stats from that year, here are our personal stats:

Booner: Pos. QB./Long Snapper
Pass Attempts: 13
Completions: 6
Total Yards: 22
Rushing Attempts: 7
Rushing Yards: 2
TD's: 1
Extra Points: 1
2 Point Conversions: 1
Hand offs to C.B. Jack: 48
Fumbled Handoffs to C.B. Jack: 4
Cold Sores in Team Picture: 1
QB Rating: 78.3

C.B. Jack Pos. RB, WR, Special Teams
Rushing Attempts: 48
Rushing Yards: 380
Rushing TD's: 17
Kickoff Return Average: 48 Yards
Punt Return Average: 37 Yards
Combined Return TD's: 8

Our Record: 11-0. Why we didn't go places in life I don't know. Maybe we would be a lot more successful in life if we knew at the end of the day we were going to get Orange Wedges and a Sunny D. Anyhow, here was my whole purpose in this Post:

Detroit is now a Jazz town!

Good game by the Jazz yesterday morning. Its always weird to have to wake up early to watch a Jazz game. Do NBA players even know how to set an alarm clock to wake up that early? Can you see CJ Miles struggling for a good 30 minutes to figure out how early he needs to wake up to catch the team bus before he calls one of the trainers and bribes him to come do it for him? Speaking of CJ, he is now the resident goofy pre-game handshaker for the Jazz. It cracks me up to see him waiting at the scorers table for Booz and D-Will before the game so he can get in a little hand slap with them. Booz and D-Will probably think he is one of the ball boys. I am sure that CJ likes to think that he is the reason for Boozer shooting 17 of 20. Speaking of 17 for 20, I dont think that I have ever made 17 of 20 layups in warm-ups by myself before, that was just an amazing performance by the Booz.

Good game for the Jazz though, I think that is 7 of the last 8 against Detroit now. The Pistons are quickly becoming one of the more over-rated teams in the league. Is Chauncey Billups even that good? He never plays well against the Jazz. I think that the press can stop calling the Pistons championship contenders as well, they are going to get hamered by the Celtics or the Magic in the playoffs. This was the hard game on the trip so nothing less than 2 more wins is acceptable.

When were the Jazz going to tell us that D-Will hurt his toe and that is why he was playing like D-bag for the last two weeks? I know they keep it quiet so the other teams don't try and take advantage of it, but we put out an Amber Alert on the dude and all along he was hurt. We need to come up with a good nick-name for Ronnie Price, I love that he is taking all of Giricek's minutes. I am sure Jerry was thinking, "How can I get the team to cut down on its turnovers? Hmmm.... I know, take Giricek out for the game and that will eliminate 5 traveling calls that come at the worst time possible." I want to see Price, Brewer and AK on the floor together just so we can be the most athletic team in the league for a few minutes.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Price Is Right!!!

Not much to say except, the bench looked gooooooooood! I love Price. I didn't realize he had such a good shot. Hart actually looked pretty good. I've always been a Jason Hart guy though.
Hopefully you all caught the post game interview with Boozer. Brownie asked him if he liked the way the they played tonight, rather then the way they played against the kings. Boozer " Yeah, They kicked are ass" Then he looks at the camera and says " Excuse me, They whipped are butts" Then they sent it back up to D.J. and the boys, who could barely contain themselves from laughing. It was classic. If you have it on tivo you should watch.

One more thing, Did you see memo's lurpy ass not even put his hands up for the rebound and the ball hit him right on the head. I could not stop laughing. Memo sucks, but he will continue to shoot ever time he touches it.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Interest in Jazz hits an all-time low...

...and Salt Lake City has fewer Mormon's than ever. Ewwwww. But really, the Jazz have me sick, in fact, they brought my shingles back. Well, it was either that or the stray Cat named Shingers we took in. Hey, 'tis the season.
Anyhow, sorry, not much to say about the Jazz right now but they can make 25% of it up to me with a win over the Nets tonight. My guess is Jason Kidd is feeling so bad for D-Will right now that he will take it easy on him.
The only good news I have, if you want to call it good news is that we didn't slip out of the rankings like I thought we would after losing to Troy "Pinch & Roll" Murphy and the Panties, I mean Pacers. Here is where we ended up:

Oh wait, I do have even better news for Whistle Nuts and all the BYU homers out there, BYU cracked the BCS at #25 this week. Nice work. If they get past the Utes this weeks that should be good enough to land them in the Playtex "Who gives a Rats" Bowl. (Course where would that leave the Utes?:(

Anyhow, Go Jazz. (I say that with as little enthusiasm as possible.)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

11.17.07 Jazz @ Pacers

Mike Dunleavy scores one of his nine lay ups.

Danny Granger scores one of his seven dunks.

Jerry says "Up Yours..." to the refs.
Final Score: Jazz 97 Pacers 117
Minutes we actually paid attention to during the second half: 3

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Have you Seen this Man?

....if you have, please let him know the Jazz need him to have any chance at winning.

Love, Ron Boone

P.S. On an unrelated note, have you heard the news about Barry Bonds?

11.16.07 Jazz @ Cavs

1st Half:

Due to the lack of athletic centers in this game. We had a horizontal jump ball. Rather than throwing it up, the ref had these two lurps start at halfcourt and he rolled it towards the hoop. Whoever got it won the "tip". Z won as you can guess.

Jazz are playing well and have had a lead up to 7 pts. I hate the Arena Announcer at the Q. He was probably Little Bow Wow's backup vocal and when Bow Wow hit puberty and his voice changed, the guy got screwed. Why has the NBA gone so thug, even in their announcing.

(I do have a great echo voice if there are any VP's of Arena Voice reading the blog.)

2nd Half:

Let's cover this half in pictures.

Jazz are playing well out of the half. We seem to have a comfortable lead of 4-6 pts. I wish Deron would get his assist game going. Ronnie brewer has now been blocked by Ilgauskus 8 times (a pretty official guess). Boozer is coming on strong as always. I imagine the Cavs would be really good if they had been able to keep him. Although it was nice to see that graphic that showed he has played more games as a Jazz man than a Cavs man. He is officially a Jazz man.

This shot is when Boozer was called for a foul on Lebron after Boozer patted him on the butt after Lebrons layup went in. Hey this is the NBA man, gotta be thinking about continuation.

Here is Boozer and Deron laughing at the way Lebron gets calls. Here is Lebron being a dux. Nothing new. Lebron could probably average 39 pts a game if he could bring up that 64% FT shooting. Look at the way Deron is asking him "Dude I want to be a superstar too. Any tips?" Deron will be making that same Lebron face by 2nd quarter of tonights game.

Here is Paul Millsap thanking the ref for not calling a foul on him as he watched Lebron get another layup. I think that Cavs fan just stuck a $20 in the refs pocket. That or he wanted a free handful of junk. I think they just called a blocking foul on Mark Eaton as Lebron took a shot.

Final Score: Jazz 94 Cavs 99
Number of conversations the boys paid attention to and finished at dinner: 1 (Gentry and The Hills conversation)

Sad Jazz Fan

Memo is the most frustrating jazz man to watch play besides Collins ,and Hart. Nothing irritates me more then his lurpy ass size 17's stepping on the three point line. His inability to create a shot and his shoot every time I touch the ball attitude.
Keys to this game success will be.
1. D-Will not trying to make every pass a highlight reel.
2. Gordon planting his feet before making a move to the basket. He travels eveytime he tries to go to the hoop.Pass or shoot!!!
3. Go to Boozer as often as possible.
4. Make layups
We need a win tonight before we drop to 25th in the Hollingers power rankings.
Go Fight Win

Jazz V. Cavs the sequel

Derron Williams needs to snap out of his current funk. The last few games he has been shooting the ball horribly and his assists are way down as well. I wonder if has been hooking up with Robert Whaley after games again. THis just in, LeBron is good. I still say he is juicing though. At least the Jazz did not fold in this game, they had a bad 4th quarter, but it seemed like they keep their energy up, the shots were just not falling. Too many missed lay-ups and open jumpers. I feel like I need to say something nice about Jason Hart now because of how much we were killing him earlier in the year so here goes - He sure does a good job throwing that cell phone to the corner of the screen for the "Keys to the game" segment. The dude never messes that one up, its always right on the money. I am little confussed on why they don't have him throw a set of keys though, it would make more sense that way, oh well. The Jazz need to win tonight and the road trip will be a success.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

11.14.07 Jazz @ Raptors

1st Half
Where was Boozer in the 1st quarter?
Oh, there he is scoring 13 in the 2nd quarter.

2nd Half
This picture sums up my blog. Jazz barely squeeze one out in Toronto. Nice job Jazzercizers.

Final Score: Jazz 92 Raptors 88

Minutes it took me to blog this post: 1.5

Deron takes home the Play of the Day

Unrelated Quote of the Day

I know this has nothing to do with the Jazz but I saw this on and had to laugh at what Phil Jackson said. I know there are a lot of Phil Jackson haters in Jazz nation but come on, give him a little credit here:

K-Fes on his new home with the Utah Flash

Here is possibly the best article ever. Khrylo Fesenko (the Jazz second round draft pick) will be playing for the Utah Flash. Here is what he has to say about the situation (real quotes):

When someone from the Flash asked Fesenko what Ukrainians eat, his reply was a playful slam along the lines of, "Worms and short men who ask annoying questions."
"I like Denny's because I love eggs, and when I know that I can eat eggs all day long, I was really surprised, and I'm already love Denny's," Fesenko said. "It is healthy. It's not fast food, so everything is good."

You just have to read this article for yourself. Pay close attention to his quotes. He is quickly climbing my list of favorite Jazz players.

Millsap sent to the D-League. Will play for the Utah Flash

It's official. John Millsap will be in a Utah Flash uniform this upcoming season. Nobody will be more proud than our own blogger Ron Boone. Booner is currently the VP of Marketing for the J.Millsap Fan Club.

Here is John's personal website: (I'm serious. Check out the photos section.)

I imagine a conversation similar to this one:

John: Hey Paul, you think I should get one'a dos sebwites...i mean websites?
Paul: Are you asking me for money again?
John: You know I'm good fo it. Aight? Hey momma....
Mom Millsap: Yes suga pie
John: You still got those clippings from the paper when I was in high school and tearing it up at University of Texas-San Antonio? I's gonna put dem on my new word wide wep pages.
Mom Millsap: Sure do suga.
John: Paul, can I borrow some lettuce (cash) to buy a scanner?
Paul: Are you asking me for money again?
John: You know I'm good fo it. Aight? Hey momma can you go wif me to the office depot?
Mom Millsap: Sure thing suga.
Paul: Please don't embarass me anymore John. Take off that Jazz jersery and quit signing my name.
John: Who you tripping Paul? Boy I gonna be tearing it up at da Flash, and real soon I gonna get mine. And it's you gonna be axing me fo lettuce (money)!

I could go on and on. This family need a reality show as of yesterday! Can you imagine the conversations between big brother and little brother? We need to get with Good Things Utah and get those two on the show. Talk about a tear jerker.

Does Chris Bosh Scare Anyone Else?

Question: Who would win a fight between the two Raptors below?

57% said the Raptor above and a 43% sided with the Raptor below.
The fact is, they are both false. So who wins?
The Jazz. 107-95.
Let's do this!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

From Bill Simmons

This is too funny to not pass along. Quote from Bill Simmons talking about Zach Randolph and Eddie Curry of the Knicks: "Reason No. 12,356 why I love the NBA: The Curry-Randolph combo marks the first time in NBA or WNBA history that a team has started two C-cups at the same time."

Boozer Quote

I love this quote from the Trib today, I think that it shows that the Jazz are in a really good state of mind right now.

Boozer had 15 points in the first quarter, hitting elbow jumpers and bank shots and scoring around the basket. The scouting report, which Boozer said he never read, described him as coasting on defense. Boozer responded by knocking away a pass and stuffing Shareef Abdur-Rahim in the opening period.

"I'm telling you, I'm getting better defensively and our team's getting better defensively and that's what we're going to continue to do,'' Boozer said. "They can have any scouting report they want to, but they've got to come beat us."

D-Will vs. CP3

It seems that the know-it-alls over at ESPN have finally decided to give our boy some props. Check out today's daily dime talking about Darren and Chris Paul-

Found this quote from David Thorpe as well:

"On the downside, I think Utah is a backup point guard from competing for the NBA title. I'm not suggesting Jason Hart can't do the job, I just don't know if he can. His play Monday was encouraging."

It feels good to be ahead of the curve and recognizing that the Jazz have a major weakness in that backup position. To be fair though, Hart has looked a little better over the last two games, but I am worried that what we saw last night might the best he can give us and that will not cut it in the playoffs.

A few stats to chew on for the day -

R. Brewer Stats
#2 in the steals at 3.0 per game
#7 in FG

D. Williams Stats
#3 in Assists at 10.0 per game
#36 in FG % (#28 in 3 pt. FG%)
#38 in scoring per game

C. Boozers Stats
#6 in scoring per game
#9 in rebounds
#11 in FG %

AK's stats
#7 in blocks
#14 in assists
#42 in steals
#44 in Rebounds

If only Memo would decide to show up and play a little this year. Basically our starters, minus Memo are all top 7 or better in at least one catagory and top 50 in at least one more. AK is simply toying with the league right now, it is silly. He has to be considered one the top 10, maybe top 5 players in the league. You could also consider D-will top 10 player in the league as well right now. Boozer would be on the bubble of that list for me because he needs to get a little better on D, but he is for sure a top 5 offensive player. Ronnie could end up on one of the All-NBA defensive teams sometime in the near future for sure.

Good times all around for the Jazz right now.

Monday, November 12, 2007

11.12.07 Jazz vs. Kings

1st Half

Despite the Kings 2-4 record, I am still really worried about this game. The Kings have won 5 of the last 6 against the Jazz. Remember last year when they came back from like 38 points down in the fourth to beat us? I do. We all do. It was comforting to know that Bibby and Crazy Ronald will not be playing. But that just meant some other guys was going to be the Jazz Killer for the night. Jazz need good starts and they are getting one tonight.

Boozer is an animal. For real, I wonder what kind of DNA that guy has pumping through his veins.

Giricek just hit a three from 10 feet behing the line, with a guy in his face, with the clock running down. Total luck shot, but you would never know it by looking at his face. He simply ran back down the court with a snooty Abercrombie model look like (In a crummy russian/european accent) "VVhat? I zuzed to do dat in my countrrry every zingle game...iz no biggy deal." It was awesome.
Here is a sweet movie of Giricek winning a stuffed animal at Lagoon for his girl.

Look at dudes bandana. He is gangsta pure and simple. I can't stop thinking "you play for the Jazz and you went to Lagoon with a wife beater and a freaking white bandana..." I am really laughing out loud right now (lol for your computer nerds). How come Giricek can come in and score 12 in the quarter and then not see playing time for the rest of the night. Random ol' J-slo coaching.

It seems like the Jazz are playing a high school charity game right now. Giving the Kings just enought room to not slit their wrists. There was just a sequence in which AK blocked a shot D-Will threw a full court pass, Memo missed a shot, it was a volleyball rebound that went to AK, he gave it back to Memo like "frrrend, pleased, try shot again", Memo missed again, another volleyball layup where Boozer gets the ball fakes out the three defenders around him on a simple pump fake, and simply tosses it off the glass for two points. They are literally playing with the Kings.

2nd Half

Jazz are really sticking it to the Kings now. Deron is pretty much non-existent this game. No fears though, Hitman Hart is having a career night (7 points in the third quarter). Watch Hart play defense, he looks like one of the BHS Girl Basketball players sliding out along the three point line during warm-ups (Congrats to Rand for having the all-time most intimidating and weird warm up).

Kings are fighting back, but as long as Bibby is on the bench, no one is worried. Did you see Bibby on the sideline? Brother has some hair. Not a good look for him. I think Deron is trying to bring the crappy too short for a white guy and too long for a black guy hair back. Deron will have an official bald spot by the 2009-2010 season.

Ronnie Brewer is simply amazing. I know there are a couple of guys on here who would happily let their wives surrogate a child on his behalf (Do you not see his little mexi/cuban/asian mustache?). I love his intensity. He really does bring it all the time he is on the court. He is in love with the 'fake like your turning to run up the court to play defense and quickly turn to steal the ball' move. Perhaps that is why I am in love with him. I would not be running to Fanzz to buy his jersey though. Jazz won't have the cash to re-sign him. I hate to think about three years down the road with this team. It makes me sad, so let's not worry about that right now. Jazz are rolling and should sweep this upcoming 3 game road trip.

Final Score: Jazz 117 Kings 93 (under 100, that is an accomplishment for our D right now)

Number of references to the "Kings Scouting Report" by Bolerjack: 14 (not including the 12 in the post game show)

Ronnie Brewer-Steal of the Night (as per

Power Rankings/Kings Preview

I realize you have all seen this, with the exception of Whistle Nuts who has time for one website and one website only and that is our blog. (I think I am OK to go ahead and award him for the Blogs biggest fan right now. It's about 11 months pre-mature but I'm going to pull a Joe Glenn and guarantee he will be at year end as well.)

Anyhow, what I was trying to get to was this:

This weeks power rankings are out via ESPN and I think we should all be happy about it. To climb five spots in one week is not too bad. Good week for the Jazz and we can start this week of right with a "W" tonight against C. Webb and the Kings....what's that? No more C. Webb? That's too bad, that's the only reason I bought tickets. Oh well, they have Brad Miller, doesn't Boozer's Hammy have his Jersey? As long as we can keep K. Martin in check, we should win without to much drama. Three Predictions:

1. Jazz Win 114-101

2. Brad Miller attacks Jarron Collins

3. The attack on Jarron Collins leads to the signing of the one and only......

Ben "Hand Lotion" Handlogten

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Thoughts on the Grizz v. Jazz

Dear Memphis,

At least you have good BBQ restaurants.


The Utah Jazz

Holy cow, that game reminded me of an NBA Live video game. The Jazz did what ever they wanted and the poor Grizz just could not keep up. That win helped keep the Jazz the highest scoring team in the league at 111.1 points per game. We out-scored them in every quarter of the game. We now have the largest average margin of victory in the league as well at 7.3 points per game.

Um, are we still being coached by Jerry Sloan? Because his players ae throwing ally-oops, making behind the back passes and dunking the ball with authority. What's next, headbands? The best thing to come out this game was they finally held someone below 100 points. Granted, it was the Bingham Miners JV team they were playin against, but the defense looked a lot better. Pau Gasol is officially the most overated player in the league.

11.11.07 Jazz vs. Grizzlies

Best Friends Forever

1st Half

"Get your layups people, get your free layups". The Jazz are finally getting the points in the paint like they should. I am a little shocked at Pau (worse name in the NBA) Gasol's lack of defense. Our front court is destroying Memphis right now.

The Memphis coach is Mark Iavaroni. I witnessed a horrible pregame interview with Thurl Bailey talking with his old teammate. I was impressed with some of the old video of Iavaroni playing with the Jazz...until they showed his stats: 3.2 pts per game. Honestly?

That puts him in the same category as Jose Ortiz (2.9 pts per game)

Jazz are clicking on all cylinders. Andrei has offically decided to show up this season. I get super giddy when I think about how good the Jazz can be when he plays like this. His behind the back pass to Boozer was sick. That has to be the assist of the season so far. Jazz just put up 62 in the it.

2nd Half

Hart just missed two shots, followed by a miss on the free throw line when Booner says "Here's a guy who shot 89% from the free throw line last year." That was when I went to the kitchen to find the sharpest knife I could to make the pain quick and fast...suddenly fright in front of me the Hitman dropped back to back jumpers...all the way back from the free throw line! It was awesome, I knew the basketball gods were smiling down on us.

Brian Cardinal just dropped back to back three's on us. I get a weird feeling when I see him. Perhaps it is because he makes me think of Adam Keefe.
Okay, so they don't look a lot alike, but their styles are similar.

AK-47 was a one man band tonight. Thanks Jerry for pulling him right before he gets a triple double. Seriously? I was so bugged. Jazz finaly get the blow-out they have been so deserving of. Must have learned something from Coach Whittingham.

Final Score: Jazz 118 Grizzlies 94

Number of times Brian Cardinal whispered to Larry H. Miller "I would be a great fit on this team" as he ran up the court: 6

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Jazz Vs. Sonics Recap

You will get award winning analysis from C.B. Jack later but for now I am going to give you my take on last nights ugly win against the "Soon to be Oklahoma" Sonics.

1st Half:
Pathetic. My team had less turnovers at Lifetime Fitness Thursday Morning*. If we commit half the turnovers we did, we have the game signed, sealed and delivered in the first half. Well, maybe not, but at least I wouldn't have the ulcers I do now. Did I say ulcers? I meant shingles.

*No, we still had more turnovers but for the sake of a good comment I lied. My apologies.

2nd Half:
Lucky. Honestly, how did we win that game. I've never walked away from a win with the same feeling as you do with a loss but last night I did. In fact, when we lose, I rarely watch ESPN the next day and I did the same thing with this victory. Had it not been for Kirilenko's phantom block on Durrant we go into overtime and the Supersonicas ride the momentum home.

Misc. Thoughts: C.B. Jack said it perfect when he said if you saw footage of PJ Carlesimo (not going to spell check that) last night as well and footage of PJ in 1972, it would look exactly the same. Someone buy that man a suit that was made in the last decade and throw in some eye glasses that are smaller than four feet in diameter.

Misc. Pictures:

Uhh, what is this guy doing with his life (Robert Swift). Aparently somewhere between his rookie year and now, he signed a contract with the Devil and Rage Against the Machine.
2007-2008 Season (Above) Rookie Year (Below)

11.9.07 Jazz @ Sonics

1st Half

This had better be a blowout. Jazz are playing good, but where did Carlos Boozer go the entire 2nd quarter? I wondered if there was an unseen injury for a second. That or he had to lay some serious pipe.
Have you ever seen a rookie fire up so many shots in your life? I bet the vets want to kick him in the arse.

New topic: Robert Swift. This is the reason the NBA doesn't allow high school kids to come into the NBA anymore. I wonder what his parents think when they watch him. "Where did we go wrong Nancy...where did we go wrong?" Daddy Swift.
Rookie Year:

4th year in the league after 3 injury plagued seasons:

Talk about sad. This is what you call "Upside" or "Potential".

2nd Half
Sonics are keeping the game close and it's getting to the point that I'm nervous. There crowd of 15,980 (8,065 actually showed up) is starting to get into the game. Seems like Deron is taking a fit. Perhaps that is because he is getting destroyed by Delonte West (abused with an ugly stick and a perma cold sore stick when he was young)

Well Memo may have just won us the game. How? Did you see how he filled the lane and made Durant adjust so Andrei could get a piece of the ball? Nice play by Memo. Truth is, he was just to lazy to put his arms up. I hate games like this. I just can't figure out why the Jazz can't finish the deal with some of these 'weaker' teams. We need to get some killer instinct on this club. Where is Bill Belichek when you need him (Jazz would have won by 56 pts.).
Final Score: Jazz 103 Sonics 101
Nibs eaten by Halle in the first quarter: 37