Dr.: CJ, how do you feel about the new guy on the team?
CJ: Damn you Kevin O'Connor, damn you to hell!!! Just when I was starting to get out of Jerry's dog house and get some minutes you go and make a trade for a guy that is going to remind coach of Horney. I only had to play better than that dux-bag euro guy and now I have to play better than Ashton Kutcher. Oh wait, now I can go back to making up funny handshakes, this might not be too bad.
Dr.:Coach Sloan, how do you feel about the new guy on the team?
Sloan: Man am I glad that I don't have to play CJ any more. I can't stand playing 19 year olds.
Number of times that Lamarcus Aldridge made that spin while hooking the defender and got away with it - 49
Number of times the old Jerry Sloan would have gotten a technical because of the refs - 23
Number of wives watching the game with their husband who asked, "When did Ashton Kutcher start playing basketball?" - All of them.
Number of wives watching the game with their husband who said to themselves, "If the Jazz win and my Husband wants to "celebrate" I can think of the new guy and get through it with a smile on my face." - All of them.
Final Thoughts -
Happy new years Jazz, you are one game better than .500 and in third place in your crappy division. I am still really sceptical and bitter until I see some more consistent effort. If by the end of January you are 7 games over .500 I will put both feet back on the bandwagon.
P.S. As a good standing member in the community I can not reccomend Google searching "CJ Miles" and then clicking on the images button to search for funny picture of the Jazz star. Apparently, he has an, ummm, night job. I feel like you all need to know this.