Dr.: CJ, how do you feel about the new guy on the team?
CJ: Damn you Kevin O'Connor, damn you to hell!!! Just when I was starting to get out of Jerry's dog house and get some minutes you go and make a trade for a guy that is going to remind coach of Horney. I only had to play better than that dux-bag euro guy and now I have to play better than Ashton Kutcher. Oh wait, now I can go back to making up funny handshakes, this might not be too bad.
Dr.:Coach Sloan, how do you feel about the new guy on the team?
Sloan: Man am I glad that I don't have to play CJ any more. I can't stand playing 19 year olds.
The Stats:
Number of times that Lamarcus Aldridge made that spin while hooking the defender and got away with it - 49
Number of times the old Jerry Sloan would have gotten a technical because of the refs - 23
Number of wives watching the game with their husband who asked, "When did Ashton Kutcher start playing basketball?" - All of them.
Number of wives watching the game with their husband who said to themselves, "If the Jazz win and my Husband wants to "celebrate" I can think of the new guy and get through it with a smile on my face." - All of them.
Final Thoughts -
Happy new years Jazz, you are one game better than .500 and in third place in your crappy division. I am still really sceptical and bitter until I see some more consistent effort. If by the end of January you are 7 games over .500 I will put both feet back on the bandwagon.
P.S. As a good standing member in the community I can not reccomend Google searching "CJ Miles" and then clicking on the images button to search for funny picture of the Jazz star. Apparently, he has an, ummm, night job. I feel like you all need to know this.
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2 comments:
Poor CJ. Hammy put it on the nose when you mentioned that at least he still has the handshakes. Maybe the Audio guy at the ESA will let him help pick out some music for the team to warm up to. In fact why not mic him up and make him our official team DJ. Get him some mixing boards and some ol'skool records. It would be awesome...DJ CJ in the house!
"Pump up the jam, pump it up"...fades into..."tag team, back again, check it, wreck it, let's begin" (with a montage of team handshakes on the jumbo-tron."
Oh and we forget one crucial part CJ has on this team and that is the NBA Live 2008 Consultant. Without CJ we would be unable to scout out our opponents via XBOX 360, PS3 etc, Wii, Sega Genesis for C.B. Jack. So, in other words, although his playing days may be numbered, we need him to stick around in order to fill a few very important needs.
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