To bad HD TV was not invented yet

I ran across this link today and needed to pass it along - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtVSzU20ZGk&NR=1.

Basically, it's a local news report in Oregon from the 70's of some construction workers blowing up a whale. Can you imagne trying to do that today, you would have so many tree huggers and animal right activists crawling around it would look like Woodstock again. Of course if we were able to pull it off we might be able to get a few of the hippies caught up in the blast. I wish I could go back and sit in on the meetings to hear how this ended up happening. I wonder what other ideas got shot down, a laser beam maybe? Classic stuff in my opinion.

Since this is a Jazz blog I may as well mention something about them as well. 2 pretty big road games this weekend against the Wizards and Grizzlies. The Wiz game should be a pretty good test, if we loose to the Grizzlies I may never watch another Jazz road game this year.

Is Anyone Else Scared of the Knickerbockers?

I know the Jazz are playing some of their best ball of the season, but there is something about these Knicks that scares me. Besides, remember this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIUy86Klr0Y

That game still gives me nightmares. Oh and then there was this back in November:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWt4YiK7i6w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n69AmJCY7q8

So what is it with these guys? Why do the Jazz always struggle against them? Is it the Madison Square Garden or is it Bad Karma coming back to us from the time Karl nailed Isiah Thomas with an elbow? If that's what it is (the Karma) I will take it, because that will go down as one of my favorite moments in NBA history. I bet 90% of New York Fans want to hire Karl Malone to give him one with his other elbow.

I do have a better feeling about tonight's game though. Besides we have Korver now. ( I act like he is MJ, but come on, you have to admit, you feel the same way.) I doubt it will be a blow out, but I say Jazz win 104-96. Let's just hope the worst thing that happens tonight is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLP_Y5NcFuE&NR=1

Late,

Booner

1 win = 5 spots in the standings

We are back where we belong, at the top of the Northwest division and the 4th seed in the west. I am almost ready to remove the dillusional part of the optomistic fan club. The Jazz are looking very confident, very sharp and very capable of keeping up this type of play. Lets hope that they have really turned the corner.

A few thoughts on some Jazz and Spurs players:
Hornacek should get coach of the year for his work with AK. Andrei is actually living up to his nick-name and his contract right now. Korver was the missing link for the Jazz, as far as I am concerned he can not take a bad shot. Price is better than Hart, at least he can get to the rim at the end of quarters and make something happen. Hart just turns it over. I hope J-Slo keeps him in that spot for the rest of the year. I know that the Dingle -Nuggies are our official rival (thanks for the loss tonight by the way), but it feels really good to beat the Spurs. I can't stand every single player on that team, starting with Ginoboli and ending with Ginoboli. I really hate that kid, he's so smug and such a floper.

The best part about this game were the quotes. There were some really great unintentially funny one-liners tonight and here they are:

1. From Ron Boone early in the first quarter, speaking about Timmy: "I'll tell you something else he is good at, swimming." Thanks Ron, I will sleep better tonight knowing that if Tim Duncan ever falls out his boat he will be able to swim to shore safely.
2. From Jerry Sloan in the third quarter to one of the Refs: "How about a f*(%!^g walk!?" I love it when the camera man gets too close to Jerry, you can guarantee that an F-bomb is going to make it onto live T.V.
3. From Andrei during the post game interview about Kyle Korver: "The old lady crowd likes him, what we can do?" I'll tell you what we can do Andrei, we can bring a bunch of old ladies over to his house for good luck.

Thanks for the win and for the comedic relief Jazz. Keep it rollin!

Look, its something new on our blog

Man, I hate this little vacation the Jazz had scheduled. It wouldn't be so bad if the dumb writers strike was over; instead we get stuck with re-runs of Grey's Anatomy every night(secretly The Whistle is hoping for a prolonged strike so he can watch Izzy, Grey and Dr. McDuxbag more). It's good to have a game back on so we can get back to ignoring our families and yelling obsenities at the TV when Jason Hart checks into the game. Needless to say, I am looking forward to tonights game.

Two random links to get you pumped about our Jazz.

1st - Check out this review of second year players. The Jazz have the number 4 and 5 best players from that draft. KOC should get a raise, if you throw in Derron and CJ the year before and then Fesenko and Almond this year you're starting to get a pretty good history of not effing up the draft ala Curtis Bortchardt, Robert Whaley, Kris Humphries, Kirk Snyder, Pavel Podkelzine, Quincy Lewis and Deshawn Stevenson.

2nd - Bill Simmons seems to think that Jazz are the best team to bet on from the west to make it to the finals. Apparently, he is our celebrity member of the D.O.F.C.

What to watch for in the second half

The Jazz are now past the half way mark of the season and and if we were to be honest in rating the first half, they have been disappointing at best. So, with that in mind, I think that there are a three key issues to keep an eye on. In order of importance, this is what to watch for from the Jazz.

How are we going to play on the road?
The road record is horrible at 7-15; if they could have won 50% of the road games they would be sitting at 28-14 and leading the division by 3 games with the third best record in the conference. They have 19 road games left and to be considered as even a minor contender they need to win at least 12 of those games which would give them a 19-22 road reccord for the season. Of those 20 games 6 are against Seattle, Minnesota, Memphis and the Clippers and should be guaranteed wins. They need 3 of the other 13 against decent competition and we will be OK. Its really not too much to ask.

How long will J-Slo stick with his current rotation?
I know that questioning Sloan's coaching ability is viewed in only two ways. You either hate the guy and nothing he does is good or he is in line to be the next prophet. I am starting to think that the old man has lost it. Why does he keep playing Jason Hart and Jarron Collins? I really want to know the answer to this. I am possitive that letting AK or Brewer run the point for the 4 minutes a half that Derron is on the bench is a better option that having Hart in the game. Its 8 freaking minutes per and Jason Hart sucks for each second of them. Hell, a lineup of Memo, Boozer, Millsap, Collins and Fesenko couldn't do worse; it's that bad. Speaking of Fesenko, Get him up here and give him all of Collins' minutes. He is a better defender and we need the comic relief in post game interviews. I actually miss having Gordan (the state fair MVP) around just for the post game comedy. It's time to shorten up the rotation to the starting 5 with Harpring, Millsap and Korver coming off the bench.

Is there one more trade to out there?
If possible we need to get a defensive minded big man (although I think Fesenko could fill this void for 10 to 15 minutes per night if given the chance) and a real back up point guard. I am pretty sure we will not be getting the big man because teams don't trade big guys who can play defense. As a back-up PG, maybe we could get Jason Williams from the Heat for some sort of poo-poo platter. I think that CJ Miles, Morris Almond, Ronnie Price, Jarron Collins and Jason Hart are all expendable at this point. There is no way Miles and Almond are going to crack the Korver, Brewer combo so lets get something for them while we can, they are certainly our best trade chips right now. If we can get someone who knows how to get the ball to Boozer for 8 minutes per game we will be a lot better.

Random stat of the year that sums up the Jazz:
The Jazz are currently 28th in the league in receiving technical fouls with a grand total of 6 for the year. What the hell Jazz, show some emotion and feel free to get T'd up once in awhile. A well timed outburst and technical foul can really change the flow of the game. Sloan used to know how to do this and Malone was great at it, in the 2000-2001 season he had 21 by himself. Williams and Boozer need to step it up and make a goal for 10 each over the last 40 games. I think that we may be looking at a bunch of cinderellas on this team which explains the 4th quarter collapses that they have been having on the road. It's time to start demanding a little respect fellas.

Utah Jazz-Midseason Grades for Staff and Starters

It's time for the midseason grades. These grades only reflect the opinion of CB Jack. Please feel free to comment and give your opinion.

Staff

Kevin O'Connor: For a guy who has stunk up the majority of his draft picks, he sure made up for them in quality trades. Fesenko has potential to be a starter/good rotation player, but the verdict is not out on Almond. He can score in the D-League, but is currently shooting 11% in the big league. The Korver trade was one to put on his resume. Great job so far Mr. O'Connor. GRADE: A-

Jerry Sloan: Signed a one year contract extension early in the season. While Sloan has done wonders for a group of less talented players, he seems to have lost his fire this season. He needs to realize that this team needs a little praise now and then. They are not season veterans who can take the constant criticism and not begin to play head games with themselves. He could say whatever he wanted to Stock and Malone, but they had been around the block enough to take it with a grain of salt and keep playing. Jerry's time may be up. GRADE: C-

Starters

Deron Williams: Talk about a guy who is so close to achieving stardom he can smell it. If only we could get him to touch it, embrace it, and take it to bed with him. While his scoring is up 3 points, along with all of his shooting percentages, his turnovers are also up .4 per game. As a co-captain I want to see more leadership out of him. His defense has been sub par in my eyes. While he should have been an All-Star lock at the first of the season, Deron will not dress in New Orleans this year thanks to his struggles in December. GRADE: B

Ronnie Brewer: We all knew he had it in him. I loved this guy since seeing him sport a Jazz blue suit on draft night. His offensive game has progressed much quicker than I anticipated. He has an amazing ability to get to the hole and flush down anything within 5 feet of the basket. His defense has been good at times, but he has a difficult assignment almost every night. Currently he is 12th in the league in steals. GRADE: A-

Andrei Kirilenko: After all of the off season trade speculation, I was worried as to which Andrei would show up this year. I have been pleasantly surprised with his effort. My knee jerk reaction to yell "Don't do it..." when he appears to be setting up for a shot is gone. Watching highlights of him in Euroleague made me think we needed to get him the ball more around the basket, I'm not so sure of that anymore. I seem to see him get blocked and stripped going up for layups more than he should. His three point percentage and assists are all up from his career average, but his blocks and steals are both well below. GRADE: B+

Carlos Boozer: Two years ago I actually took a full size poster to a game that read "Boozer leads our team in $teals". I was sure this guy was bending us over and laughing all the way to the bank. This is my cue to eat crow. He is a virtual lock for the All-Star team and has been the most dominant power forward in the NBA to this point. I love his offensive game, although I wish he would get a few more power dunks like last year. His defense on the other hand leaves much to be desired. You would think that with his ability to beat bigger, faster, taller guys on the big end, he would have translated that into ways to play better on the defensive end. Not so. He is a defensive liability for us. Carlos, meet your Achilles heal. GRADE: B+

Memhet Okur: The money man seems to be troubled with all of the sub-prime lending. I know babies are blessings and all, but little Melisa Okur has jinxed her daddy big time. I know the guy is slow, but when he takes the ball to the hoop he almost always converts. So why doesn't he do it more often? Go to the hoop Memo! His glimpses of greatness are often overshadowed by his lazy defensive court sense and lack of overall energy. If the Jazz hope to get back to last years form, I think this is the guy they need the most. GRADE: C+

So there are my grades for the first half of the season. Bench grades will be coming soon. They will be great for some, and straight up ugly for others. Here's to hoping our guys get their act together and put together a playoff push!

Real Players. Real Fans. Honest Bloggers.

My Utah Jazz!

Dee Brown for life

Who needs basketball when he can rap like this. http://deebrown11.com
Why on earth would the Jazz give up on this guy. He is a great team mate, and a guy that likes to pass first. He may be small ,but his aggressive defense would of given us a spark. I miss "D".

1.17.07 Jazz @ Nuggets

There is a good reason as to why I didn't post my recap last night. Not only did I want to sleep it off to keep my post from becoming rated R, but I didn't want to give the McNugget's fans the joy of reading my anguish. Oh, and guess what McNugget fans, we hate the McNugget's with more venom than you could ever hate our Jazz.

1st Half:

The Jazz came out with good energy and looked like they wanted to get a quick jump on the McNugget's. Memo hit his first two shots which usually means he'll have a great night. Things were rolling along just fine until David Stern called the Pepsi Center and spoke with the refs, reminding them that AI is an "untouchable superstar" and that they should try to get as many calls as possible to go his way. Because nobody wants an unhappy Allen Iverson, after all, he is what the NBA is all about.

I agree with Whistle in his earlier post that the flops have got get under control. There are flops, and then there are FLOPS. All I can say is Iverson uses his body better than any guard in the league, and while I think he is incredibly gifted offensively, he is just as dirty as Stockton on the defensive end. I hate him. He is everything wrong with the NBA.

On another note:


Linas.

Did you ever see the story on the twins where one is black and the other is white? Well here is another one for you.

Both guys love playing the Jazz. Must run in their blood.

I could care less if someone goes off for 41 pts on us, after all we're a horrible defensive team. But tell me his name is Linas? That's a serious slap in the face. Speaking of face, look at him in this picture. You know he is talking to himself in the third person "Linas, you are de bestest player in Nuggets stadium right now. In the faces Iverson and Melo."

2nd Half:


Jazz blew it in the 3rd quarter. Why are we such a horrible road team? I've never seen a team so slow to get back on the defensive end.

Three numbers to show why the Jazz lost this game.

11, 24, 41

Here is the box score, I'm sure you'll find what they mean real quick.



Final Score: Jazz 109, McNuggets 120



Final Thoughts:



I hate the McNuggets. Can't wait to get them in the ESA and have our boys roll over them just like last year.



Jerry Sloan has lost his fire. He never gets mad, never gets T'd up like he used to. I don't get it. Maybe Herriman has made him soft. This is the most excited I've seen him all season.
Time to get real Jerry and go back to your old self (except please call some timeouts when the other team is on a 12-0 run.)

Do I really need to make a comment about this picture?

Gettin' Jiggy with it.

Wanna read how the McNugget's fans feel?

Here are the two best Denver Nuggets blogs on the internet:

Nugg Doctor

Pickaxe and Roll

Another Jazz Killer!

Hi I am Linas Kleiza from the Denver Nuggets. Nobody knew who I was until I lit up the Utah Jazz for 41 points. I average 11.2 points a game and usually spend a lot of my time coming off the bench. Now I am in the race to be selected to my first Allstar Game and now I have more people wanting me to endorse their products, Thank You Utah Jazz for your weak A$$ defense. Memo, Boozer you can guard me anytime! Wait didn't you both go to the Allstar game last year? Oh wait, but at the Allstar game you don't have to play defense! You guys were a perfect fit!

Great showing Jazz! I agree with Whistle Nuts, Why can D Will not go more minutes? You see Bron Bron and Kobe out there pretty much all night! Oh wait, we do have Jason "I can't shoot worth SH$#" Hart that can come in a take some of those minutes???

Big difference in the game: the nuggets stuck with their player who was on fire (above mentioned Mr. Kleiza) The Jazz: sit Korver, our player on fire, until well into the 3rd quarter! Great call JSlo, who needs points anyways to win, oh wait, we do!

I love watching 4th quarters when I get to finish the game watching Jarron "the jazz have made me a rich man for not doing jack crap" Collins and the rest of the scrubs. CJ who was thankful for the trash time so he could get his scoring average up! Just average 20 more points a game and you will pass Bron Bron!

I hate to be sooooooooooooooo negative but it's hard to watch. You can draw up the outline of how each Jazz game is going to go before it is even played. We will play tough for the first three quarters while letting a virtually unknown name on the opposite team (M. Webster, L. Kleiza) light us up. Then in the fourth quarter we will get down by ten and then JSlo will through in Jarron Collins, Ronnie Price, and CJ this = GAME OVER!!!

Things That I Can't Stand !!!!

1. Anyone who flops to draw a foul from the officials. A.I. may be the biggest flopper in the league. Although the Jazz have some great actors too. Such as Jason Hart, Jaron Collins, A.k. and Harpring. I think the N.B.A. needs to give a foul to the person who flops, It is getting way out of hand. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching the world cup. Next thing you know when we score a basket everyone is going to yell gooooooooaaaaaaaallllllllll.

2. Boozer is driving me nuts. He is the worst defender in the league for being such a great scorer. Sometimes he looks like he doesn't give any effort on defense at all.

3. Fake injuries are a big thing I hate. You get a guy falling down for anything and he acts like he torn his A.C.L. or broke something. Then amazingly he gets the ball seconds later and he is back to 100%. I think if anyone delays the game for 1 second he should have to sit out at least 10 possession's. Guys like A.I., Tracy McGrady and D-Wade would never see the floor.

4. Next time the Jazz have the ball with no shot clock usually in the second quarter and Jason Hart has the ball he takes the shot every freaking time. Watch for it. He has yet to make one this season. But is his mind he's a scorer. Booner said, something interesting the I totally agree with he said. " Jason Hart must be the best practice player ever because its amazing he is even in the league". I'm sorry he might be a good guy and I honestly feel bad coming down on him, but he is not good.

5. Why on earth can't Deron play 48 minutes is he in that bad of shape. His numbers would be up like Chris"I never get taken out of the game because if my coach did we would lose"Paul. When he is out we can't do anything on the offensive end.

6. In my opinion Korver can shoot every time he touches it. They are always good shots and if he misses, it barely misses.He battles on defense I love that he is on our team.

7. Jerry Sloan sometimes puts in the dumbest line ups and sits guys like Korver when their hot. Jerry Sloan needs to start calling timeouts when our team gives up 4 uncontested baskets in a row and give them an ass chewing. It seems like this year he is letting the officials call whatever they want. I think he needs to show a little emotion, get a "T" even better get thrown out in our behalf.

8. It amazes me what players can say, and get away with doing in a basketball game to officials. If I were an official and I had a player whining about ever call.I would go out of my way to make every call go against them. But it seems like the officials baby the superstar for complaining.

9. The Jazz will be lucky to get a seed higher than 8th

The Whistle

AccuScore Game Details (Jazz @ Nuggets)

After 10,000 simulations, it looks like the Jazz have a hill to climb in order to pull this win off in Denver tonight.AccuScore has powered more than 10,000 simulations for every NBA game for ESPN.com, each simulated one play at a time and minimum of 10,000 times. For more, visit AccuScore.

The Daily Diet Coke and Beto's Breakfast Burrito

Here are some good Jazz articles to get your Jazz craving fed this morning. Feel free to print them off and take them to the throne with you.

-Salt Lake Tribune explains why CJ Miles has two consecutive DNP's.

-Is our recent win streak thanks to Kyle Korver? "No" the new Jazz man says.

-More reasons to watch the HUGE game in Denver tonight.

-After last season, I didn't think this was possible.

The Top 8 reasons to watch the Jazz vs. McNuggets

Why 8 things you ask, because I am predicting that D-will is going destroy the Nuggies and 8 is his number. A little Karma never hurt anyone. On to the list -

1 - It’s a mid-season playoff game:
Seriously, this game means something. I know it is only January and we are barely half way through the season but this game is B-I-G big. At least for the Jazz it is, we need this win like AK needs another free pass. A win tonight goes a long to proving that we are back and ready to play as champions.

2 - Cornrows and Headbands vs. Side-parts and Sport Jackets (with dickies):

3 - Can the Jazz win a road game?
Seriously, can they? The Jazz are 6 - 14 on the road this year and have only prevailed in 1 of their last 11 roadies. (Just saw something that made me feel better about this though - the Nuggies are 7 -10 on the road and the Blazers are 6-11. We are not the only team in this division that sucks on the road.)

4 - Could it be an all powder blue jersey night?

How much do we have pay to see this? Seriously, lets find out and make it happen.

5 - Who is going to play defense?

Both teams are giving up over 100 points per night. The chances of this game being low scoring are as slim as the chance that David Harrison is not doing drugs.

6 - Who’s the better duo – D-will and Booze or Melo and AI?
Booze and D-Will Combined Stats - 42.4 Pts / 13.7 Rebs / 12.0 Ast

Melo and AI Combined Stats - 52.7 Pts / 9.9 Rebs / 10.4 Ast

7 - Who throws a better party – A.I. or A.K.?

8 -Will we see a white out from the Jazz?

This could be a legitimate lineup on the floor for the Jazz. And it would a pretty good one too.

C - Memo Okur

F - Andrei Kirilenko

F - Matt Harpring

G - Kyle Korver

G - Deron Williams (He's mostly white - click here and scroll down to # 8)

3 Final predictions on the game:

Final Score: Jazz 124 - McNuggets 116

D-will puts 2 Nuggie point guards on the floor with a cross over move and scores at least 35

Melo and AI combine for 75

Jazz fun facts

Did you know ?
1. Ex Jazz man is leading the European league in steals and assists.
2. Jason Hart has 3 kids all from different women. (That's one way to get the ball in the hole.)
3. Millsaps little brother plays for the Alta Hawks high school team and averages a double-double per game.
4. Matt Harpering has I.B.S. ( Somethings hit a little closer to home)
5. Boozer is a 125,000 dollars richer after settling his lawsuit out of court with Prince.
6. J-slo bought a 2 acre lot in Herriman.
7. Ak's wife Masha is now opening another high end store in Sugar house.
8. Deron Williams dad was only a 1/4 black. That's why he has such fair skin.
9. Ronnie Brewer dated a playboy bunny that worked at the Palms casino briefly this last off season.
10. My Utah Jazz blog has received over 600,000 hits on the site meter in the last 2 weeks.

Until next time.

The Whistle
aka Big D's buddy

Thank you Atlanta!

Thanks to the Atlanta Hawks, the Jazz and Nuggets go into tomorrow nights game with just one game separating them in the standings. Yes, I may be making a bigger deal out of this game than I should, especially considering it's the first of four games between the two, plus there is a lot of season left for either team to distance themselves from the other. However, I have to say I was pretty pumped to see the Hawks take the Nuggets last night.

That is two losses in a row for the Nuggets and four wins in a row for the Good Guys. (No offense to the Nugg Doctor.) Now if we could just get the Blazers to lose 12 in a row I think we will be in good shape.

I'll save the speculation and predictions for tomorrow nights game for later, but the question I have for everyone, is who would you consider to be the Jazz biggest rival? (And is Jazz plural by itself? ...you know like Deer or Fish....or do you say Jazz's. I would say it's plural by itself but hey, I want to make it clear that I am a Car Salesman not a school teacher. Eye amm knot tht smurt.)

Maybe C.B. Jack can make this a poll, or not. But I would narrow it down to these three:

1. Denver

B. Golden State

III. San Antonio

and L.A. Lakers

and Houston

and maybe Sacramento.

I wish we had an established rival so every time we played that rival we could get drunk and go to work dressed in our Jazz shirts...which I am sure Whistle Nuts is wearing right now....and paint our faces. If you have a huge rivalry game it seems you can just get away with stuff like that. Unlike the time we played the Wizards and I came in wearing my Jazz Shirt, Jazz Hat, Jazz Fleece Pajama Pants and Slippers and everyone here at work was like...."oh, do the Jazz play today." So, I think us Jazz bloggers need to get something going and even if it never gets any bigger than this Blog at least we will know there are a few people that care. Well, until next time.

Booner

My "Suite" Night

Last night I was able to enjoy the Utah Jazz win from the comfort of the Wells Fargo Suite. Thank you Wells Fargo and thank you to that printing press that printed those fake tickets! Like hell I could afford those tickets on a teachers salary! I'm kidding, it's nice to have a wife that has hook ups through her work! It was an amazing time and even better with the Jazz win.

I was excited to see the former Univeristy of Utah star, Andrew Bogut back in Utah, being a former alum. Also good to actual see him have a good night (not good enough to help them win) but a good night. The "Suite" life was great, personal bathroom, some guy named Lugo who I could not understand but kept on handed me free food and booze. My wife was pissed about the booze part but I had no idea how to tell Lugo to hold off on the strong stuff.

After pounding down rib sandwich after rib sandwich (which really weren't that good, just free) we sat back on the front row of the suite and enjoyed watching the Jazz at mid court. I enjoyed meeting all the wealthy Wells Fargo bankers who strolled in with there fancy shoes and botoxed faces. I did get a little sick of all the searches they made me get when they found out I was a just a measly teacher. I think Lugo enjoyed this? Hey, that's what you go through when you get hooked up with "Suite" Jazz tickets!

I feel a little guilty for saying that I enjoyed the first three quarters being close. It makes the whole experience a little better. I worried about a blow out or a Jazz collapse in the fourth quarter but the night was perfect. The Jazz looked great, defense looked tough (minus softy Okur) and D*Will was IMPRESSIVE, at times it looked like he was toying with MO MO! By the way D*Will looks more white in person!

I hope the Jazz streak continues, mainly for Booner, I would hate for him to fall back into his negative ways even to the extreme of the No Nookie rule? What was he thinking? By the way talking about nookie yes, there was still "play time" after the game in the Horny "Suites". I did find it weird my women kept yelling out all night "Kyle, Kyle", who knows what that was all about? Oh well, nookie is nookie as they say!

1.14.08 Jazz vs. Bucks

I think the Bucks know what it feels like to be from Idaho. You know how everyone is always ragging on Utah for being the 'wanna-be' California? And to make ourselves feel better we rip on Idaho for being the 'wanna-be' Utah? I realized that the Bucks are a wanna-be Jazz. They are basically the Utah Flash of the NBA. Lots of ties to Utah on that squad.

1. Andrew Bogut: The guy will always be a celebrity in Utah because of his days up at the hill playing for University of Utah. I loved watching this guy run the high post for the Utes. Good times for the Alma-mater. I think Bogut wants to play for the Jazz. Just call it a hunch. I wouldn't mind seeing him posting up in the Tar Heel Blue paint that rests in the ESA. He would do well here.


2. Mo Williams: Talk about the black mark on Kevin O'Connors record. Who decided that we couldn't match an offer sheet on this guy? He was instant offense during his rookie year with Utah. Our own Ron Boone was pumped to see an Alabama boy here as well. I guess losing him opened up the door for D-Will, but can you imagine a back court of Mo and Deron? Or better yet, Mo coming off the bench for Deron? But then again, we would not have Jason "That HART tattooed on my arm has more athleticism than my entire body" Hart. Life is all about unanswered prayers right?


3. Larry Krystkowiak: Loved this guy when he played for the Jazz. I felt bad tonight that the the local announcers only mentioned it 13 times instead of their normal 42 when we play the Bucks. He had decent numbers averaging 7.2 pts per game and shot 46% from the field during his days with the Jazz. I want to know how many white players have played in the NBA who didn't play for the Jazz? That is a number worth looking up. CornDogg at Hardwood Paroxysm felt like tonight's game should have had a special sponsor.


4. Michael Ruffin: He was part of the "Are you kidding me" team that Jerry Sloan put together after Stockton and Malone retired. This team of misfits went 41-41 during the 02 - 03 season and just missed the playoffs by 1 game. He almost averaged a career high in points that year at 2.2 (no, it's not a typo). I know we all say this, but here I sit at my computer standing a generous 5'9 weighing in at a buck fifty five and I really think it's fair to say, I could average 2.2 pts per game if I was allowed to play 17.9 minutes per. Call me crazy.


Recap


1st Half:

The Jazz played down to the Bucks level this half. They couldn't pull away and seemed to be a little stagnant offensively. Looks like Charlie Bell has taken on the roll of "Zero to Hero" tonight against the Jazz. He is lighting it up and keeping the Bucks spread offense even more spread out. Do you think Redd feels bad for the way he treated us last year with his 57? It's like he doesn't want to make us look bad so he's not shooting the ball. I bet one of the Jazz players went to him before the game and said "Michael, remember when you scored 57 on us last year? Well after the game, Coach Sloan really let Giricek have it that night, and he killed himself. That's why he isn't here tonight". Nice tactic Jazz.


2nd Half:

I'm happy to see Andrew Bogut having a good game. He usually falls flat on his face when he comes back to SLC. Andrew Bogut just tripped on his own feet. My wife jumped and asked if someone just shot him with a sniper rifle. I rolled my eyes and told her that after years of playing Halo, I know what a body looks like when it gets hit with a sniper, and that was nothing more than a large man tripping over his over sized feet. At least this time he looked up to the stats sign as he got up and saw he was in double digit scoring, so I don't feel bad for him.

Deron is just showing off now. I think he plays with a little chip on his shoulder when the Bucks come to town. It's like he wants everyone to know that there was no way Mo Williams would have been a better PG than him. Deron is playing like a mad man tonight. He reminds me of the basketball players of old (early 90's) when they would play through all of their injuries. I see him holding his hand, limping and making a"damn that hurt, but I don't want people to think I'm a wuss" face more than a guy going paint balling for the first time in his life.



Deron owes this photographer a nice steak dinner. This picture will single handedly make more than 24 million people know Deron Williams' name after the game. That is what a little Chinese exposure will do for your career. Deron probably just landed himself a few million in Chinese endorsement deals. Why is there a Chinese word on the Bucks uniform? You don't see us putting a Nike emblem on the diapers of the American Sumo wrestlers we have over there.

Jason Hart threw up in his mouth when he saw that Chinese word and realized it was the same symbol he had tattooed on his chest and that it is actually an ad for a tampon company in China. And to think the damn tattoo artist said it meant "Honor".

Here is a classic Memo face. You know he's just thinking to himself, "Alright let's get this whole Defense thing over with so I can go down to the other side and launch another "money balls". If he was American, do you think he would let announcers get away with calling him the Money Shot? I doubt it.

Final Score: Jazz 98, Buck 87 (Box Score)

Here is what Brew Hoop (Bucks blog) thought of the game.

You have to give the Bucks credit for playing a decent defensive game. I was surprised to see the Jazz have such an advantage at the free throw line. That's a rare plus for the Jazz in any game.

Jazz win. No big surprise here. Now it's off to bed to see if despite winning 4 in a row, I can see a little "playing time" of my own. Doubt it. Thanks Jazz for making me sell my soul to the devil.

The Bitterness Strike is over (along with the Nookie)

Well, I am officially done with the bitterness strike, and it is time to party! I am now kicking off the Dillusionally Optomistic Fan Campaign (D.O.F.C.) of 2008. This campaign will include numerous references to the Jazz "Being Back", "Finding their groove" and "Playing at a championship level". There will be outrageous predictions of winning road games without any proof that it is actually possible. I will also talk in reverent terms usually reserved for ecclesiastical leaders when referencing members of this Jazz team. Of course, this campaign could end as quickly as it started with the next 2 game road trip. However, I do have a few numbers to back up the D.O.F.C. just to prove that some of our dillusions are valid.

According to John Holinger of ESPN.com the Jazz are the 5th best team in the league and 3rd in the west. Additionally, the Jazz are 6 - 4 in their last 10 games - and based on the winning % of the teams they have played over that span (it's .581), they have played the 2nd toughest schedule in the league trailing only the Clippers (.595). Compare that to the Blazers who over their last 10 games are 8 - 2 against competion with a .431 winning percentage. So during that same 10 game span they are 2 games better than the Jazz (which is exactly the ammout of games they are ahead of us in the standings), but did it against a bunch of pansies and have a bunch of tough games coming up. This should bring them back to the pack a bit. Furthermore, both Denver and Portland have played 4 or 5 more home games than road games and the Jazz have played 2 more road games than home games. Thats 6 or 7 more games on the road that the Blazers and Nuggets will be playing while the Jazz will be beating up on the T-Wolves and Clippers in Salt Lake. Is it too early to start plannig the victory parade?

Poll Results: The best hair on the Utah Jazz goes to.....

You the fan have voted on who has the Best Hair on the Utah Jazz.

After 73 votes the results are as follows.

1st Place

Kyle "Ashton" Korver

2nd Place TIE!

Andrei "Ivan Drago" Kirilenko

and

Carlos "Armpits" Boozer

Last Place
Deron "Mostly white trying to be mostly black" Williams

Thanks for participating and if you see me on the news in handcuffs being escorted from the Zions Bank practice facility, it's only because I was hand delivering a Certificate to Kyle "Ashton" Korver myself.

1.13.08 Jazz vs. Magic

Preface:

So that we all understand tonight's opponent, here is a quick photo history of how the Orlando Magic became the winning team they are today.

That pretty much sums it all up.

I, like most people, were a little amazed when Orlando took Howard over Okafor in the draft. I had seen small video montages on ESPN where they made him out to be the perfect church going athlete. Exactly what the NBA isn't. Somehow he has figured out how to stay the religious respectable kid, yet still dominate the NBA. This guy is incredible. Booner and I saw him single handedly destroy the Jazz at the Delta Center two years ago and that performance alone had me worried about tonight's game.

Not to fear though. The Jazz had a few tricks up their sleeve.

The Jazz played really well tonight. Memo has officially returned to All-Star form (ok, All-Star substitute form) and Booze Hound is honestly an animal. Memo played out of his mind despite being in foul trouble most of the game. He shoots 10-15 from inside the arc, and 4-5 from the deep line and played under 30 minutes.

I was impressed with Boozers ability to get 10 rebounds despite Howard being on the floor most of the game. I never planned on anyone shutting down Howard, but we were at least able to match his intensity.

What was up with the ref understanding Turkish tonight? Both Memo and Hedo get technical fouls after they were called for a violation and were talking in Turkish. Good on you NBA to teach your refs the five major swear words in the main tongues of the NBA. Now if the refs can only pass on their wisdom to the officials at the scorers tables.

Stan Van Gundy is one whiny man. I don't know why he cries so much, considering he is the only Van Gundy with a coaching job right now. Honestly though, have you ever seen more bitter beer faces from one man during a 150 minute stretch? He reminds me of an angry beaver (and Ron Jeremy...weird, beaver and Ron Jeremy in the same paragraph. Not like that hasn't happened before). Go figure...

The Jazz have now won 3 in a row and 4-5. We're just 2 1/2 games behind the Blazers and McNuggets. I feel like the Jazz are playing with confidence and intensity. January will be a good month to all of us if they can keep it up, minus our not getting any nookie. I still predict this team to win the Northwest Division. They will make up a lot of ground when the McNuggets games start next week.

Final Score: Jazz 119, Dwight's team 115

PS. Hey Magic fans, how about a Jarron Collins/Dwight Howard trade straight up? We'll even throw in....some signed Jose Ortiz memorabilia and a Utah Jazz Carlos Arroyo lunch box. Sleep on it and let me know.

Ain't no party like an AK party!

Ever wondered how NBA players spend their Christmas/New Years work party? Well, the Utah Jazz answered that question for us all.

Check out this priceless link I found on Hardwood Paroxysm.

It's gets even better. What the hell is CJ wearing? A T-shirt? An effing T-Shirt CJ? Reason #312-A that I don't like you.

I'm speechless, yet I feel a little violated.

This had to be the comment of the year over on freedarko.com:

Jack Brown said...
I'm a little disheartened that even NBA parties are not immune to the dreaded sausage fest situation.

This Just In

Apparently David Harrison really is on drugs - http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3192069

Our very own C.B. Jack was first to speculate after the Pacers came to town. http://myutahjazz.blogspot.com/2008/01/1807-jazz-vs-pacers.html

The NBA D-League, It's Faaannnnntastic

I hope all of the fans in attendance last night got a discount on their tickets, I would have been a little pissed that 5 regular players were out for this game. It really was a D-League roster on the floor for the Suns at some points in that game. No only did Kevin Harlan and Michael Jordan's old coach spend the whole 4th quarter talking about how great the D-league is, they also did a piece on the Millsap brothers and showed about 15 Utah Flash clips with Morris Almond. I bet they got it put together about 5 mintes before the game started so they would have something to talk about other than the game when they realized it was going to be a blow-out. They were actually excited to DJ Strawberry guarding Morris Almond. Just a quick recap on the various injuries that were on display in last nights game that caused this train wreck to occur - with the true ailment in parentheses.

S. Nash - Stomach Flu (I actually believe Steve here, nothing like trying to play basketball with the trots. He gets a pass for missing the game.)

G. Hill - Apendix surgery (Kind of hard to fake this so he gets a pass as well. However, I was a little freaked out when Michael Jordans old coach brought up the fact that Grant texted him and said that he was sorry they were not going to be able to get together in Salt Lake. Kind of brokeback if you ask me.)

S. Marion - Bruised elbow (Fishy alert, fishy alert! I would bet $100.00 that he bailed on this game as soon as Nash was officially out. I can see him sitting in his suite at the hotel and watching ESPN report that nash was officially not going to make it to the game and then going through a list of fake injuries that he could give to his coach. After running through all of them he choose the hurt elbow and then slammed it on the table and went to the trainer complaining about pain. What a dux, I am glad that the Jazz did not trade AK for this guy.)

A. Kirilenko - Back Spasms (Speaking of AK, he is just taking his annual "Back Spasms" break for the year. At least he is consistent with this injury each year. I am giving him an A effort, its hard to keep faking back injuries, but somehow he gets it done.)

M. Harpring - Wife in Labor (I miss the good old days when the players would skip the births of their children to play. Somewhere along the way all of the women got together and decided that it was just crap that they were not there and now its acceptible to go the birth and miss a game. What can you do right?)

Congrats on the new baby though Matt, just be sure to hire a good nanny, I don't want to see you coming to games looking like you have been up 4 times in the night changing diapers like Memo did last year.

As predicted, D-will went And-1 on us, but he actually pulled it off today. The ally-oops were sweet to everyone in the bulding but Sloan. One more thing to bring up, if the Jazz can win on Saturday night that will be 3 in row, officially ending my bitterness strike. If that happens you should see a distinct difference in the quality of my postings. I think that the bitterness brings out the best in me.

1.10.08 Jazz vs. Suns

I wanted to start out talking a lot of smack to all the Suns fans out there. I quickly realized that anyone who is a basketball fan should realize that there was no way, I mean absolutely no way the Jazz were going to lose this game. Suns playing without Sprite (Grant Hill), Nash, and The Matrix really had no chance against Utah. It didn't help they were playing at the ESA and coming off of a back-to-back OT game the night before.

Let's talk smack anyway.

Utah dominated this game in the paint. Memo Okur showed us a glimpse of what he was last year. He throws down a 22/17 'player of the game' night. I love the guy when he is on, but I don't know how many more ebbs and flows I can take with him. I think Utah should be throwing his name out there as trade bait to see what we can get in return.

How many times did I hear the TNT talking heads say "Utah is a young team who is trying to find out who they are...". What the crap does that mean? I know who they are. They're a good team in an excellent conference. Doesn't winning define who you are? If that is the case, they are a team trying to win more. Right? I don't know why it bothered me so much, but do we really need ex-NBA players pulling psychology theories on us during the middle of the game? Stick to what you know.

Two things really made this game worth watching for me.

1. Sean Marks

He played great in his 14 minutes of play. But I seriously want to punch his image consultant in the face. That guy needs to lose his job.

-Image consultant in a lispy fruity voice. (No offense if you have one.) "I know you're in the basketball players league Sean, but for serious, we need to frost and highlight those curls of yours. The boys...er girls will go crazy. And we need to get you a little scruffy, everyone loves a little red facial fuzz".

When I see Sean Marks play, I feel like I am watching some sort of cheap beer commercial where some lurp on the third row gets a jersey thrown in his face by the coach and and he simply yells "Get in there kid!"

As he walks on the court with his eyes as big as silver dollars and his furrowed brow thinking "Holy $#!+! I'm playing in the NBA. I hope my buddies are watching this...". Classic.

2. The hit reality show in the waiting, "The Millsap Family".

Here is a priceless video of little brother Paul watching older brother John's game with the Utah Flash (D-League).

Momma Millsap: "Paul, John's got a game tonight in Arum (Orem), you need to go down there and support him."
Paul: "Momma, you serious? He's only gonna play if they up by 50 in the last two minutes..."
Momma Millsap: "Don't you lip me boy, get down there...take that nice Ronnie friend of yours with you."

If you are a TV Network producer looking for a new reality show, thanks to the Writers Guild strike, you HAVE to jump on this. When this show is a hit, I am taking all of the credit. Here's a classic John Millsap post earlier in the year.

Final Score: Jazz 108, Suns 86

Not much to say other than Jazz did exactly what they needed to do. WIN. Suddenly the team we were starting to love to hate has won 4 of their last 5.

Suns @ Jazz - Preview

So Accuscore has the Jazz as the favorite in tonight's game. The only explanation for that is that they are playing at the ESA. I'm liking the Jazz in this game, but there are a few things I am worried about:

1. Deron Williams on National TV: We don't have good luck in these games. We go from "old school" basketball to the NBA's version of AND1. You'll see more missed alley-oops and bad between the leg passes tonight than a bunch of 9th graders who got cut from the freshman team playing Dunk Ball in the back yard. Although this post by Hammy proves otherwise.

Deron, don't do this:


Deron, please do this:


2. The Jazz will allow Leandro Barbosa to go for 30+ pts mainly because they'll think "hey what the hell is a Suns ballboy doing bringing the ball up the court?" They'll try to ask him in person, he'll respond in Brazilian, and the Jazz will figure he was some sort of contest winner who gets to play in a real game.

Speaking of Brazilian, here is the best Brazilian joke I've ever heard.

President Bush calls on of his aids into his office and asks for an update on the war in Iraq.
"Boy, what's the situational with the war in Iraq?"
The aid shuffles through some papers and replies, "Let's see here, it look like we lost a Brazilian soldier in a bombing..."
President Bush throws his head into his hands, extremely distraught he begins saying under his breath "No...No....not a Brazilian...not a Brazilian",
The aid asks him, "Mr. President are you okay?"
President Bush replies, " Just give it to me straight kid, how many is a Brazilian?"

(Cue light laughter and cue head shaking from President Bush supporters)

3. Steve Nash. Oh wait, he's not playing tonight? "After Wednesday's win, Nash didn't travel with the team to Utah, but may rejoin the team before this game. " Good news for Jazz fans. Not everyone is happy with the Suns play at this point in the season. Check out this post from Basketbawful.

This will be a close game, but I have a feeling the Jazz will win this one, mainly because of the Suns OT win against the *coughing and laughing* Pacers may have drained their starters energy.

This is the closest thing I could find to a video preview of tonight's game:

You know what really ticked me off? I watched the whole thing, and then the idiots ended it after the end of the 3rd quarter. What the heck (Utahn for hell)? Thanks for leaving me hangin idiots.

So my prediction: Jazz 114, Suns 102

I'm really looking forward to more classic NBA moments like this one from the last Phoenix/Utah meeting.



UPDATE: Looks like the Jazz will be without Kirilenko as well.

Yahoo! Sports-Kelly Dwyer

We got some national pub today on Yahoo! Sports. Here is the link:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/nba_experts/post/The-10-man-rotation-starring-Mars-Blackman?urn=nba,60793

Blazer fans...

Some of the fans at www.blazersedge.com were surprised to find out we had computers here in the SLC.

http://www.blazersedge.com/story/2008/1/9/155420/2461

Where are They Now....Curtis Borchardt

A few of us Bloggers have discussed including a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, yearly, who gives a shi# how often, "Where are They Now" report on our blog. Well, things are hopping at work so I figured I would start.

Where are they now Part 1.: Curtis "Broken Foot" Borchardt

I chose Borchardt because in this Cowboy's mind, he will go down as one of the worst picks the Jazz ever made. (No offense Personally Borchardt.) Why? You may ask....Maybe it was the fact that he had sat out 25 games of his college career with a broken foot, nah, that wasn't it. I just really liked this Boozer guy and thought he would work out better...better yet any of the following players taken after our 19th pick (so I guess we didn't actually draft him, we took Ryan Humphrey and then traded for him. My Bad. Talk about one of the lamest transactions in NBA history. ) Anyhow, on to a few of the players taken after our pick:

20. TOR Kareem Rush 21. POR Qyntel Woods 22. PHO Casey Jacobsen 23. DET Tayshaun Prince 24. NJN Nenad Krstic 25. DEN Frank Williams 26. SAS John "Jazz Killer" Salmons 27. LAL Chris Jefferies 28. SAC Dan Dickau ..and then the Booze-Hound in the 2nd Round.

So, where is Borchardt. Well, after a stint with the Celtics in '05-'06 where he averaged 5 minutes a game and 1 point per game he was off to Spain to play for C.B Granada. where he averages 15.9 points a game. Well, he did until he got hurt. Get well soon Borchardt. You are making a lot more money than all of us.

Well, until next time, I'm out.

Booner.

1.8.07 Jazz vs. Pacers

So the talking heads during the pregame show said the Jazz need to "beat them up...send them a message". So if the Jazz can't win a game by playing good basketball, they should just beat the shiz out of the other guys until they are down to four players? Oh wait, that is J-Slo's game plan every night.

1st Half:

Hot damn! The Jazz just put up 40 in the quarter? Apparantly we'll be seeing Mr. Hyde at tonight's game. A welcomed change from the lazy a$$ Dr. Jekyl who has shown his ugly face the past month.

David Harrison should be the official spokesperson for Valium. Dude had four fouls and three turnovers in 2:37. All in the first quarter. He's like the ugly 12 year old going through an early puberty and he can't control his body...or his facial hair for that matter. You know he goes down the slide too fast and rams the small kid in front of him with his feet and the small kid does a faceplant in the sand. And then he laughs at him. Don't worry small kid, get 4 or 5 other small kids, and you can gang up on his trash.

Pacers made a small run there in the 2nd to close out the half. Jazz better close this one out early in the 3rd.

2nd Half:

Not much to write about other than both teams had a turnover fest. Not one Jazz player finished this game with more than 26 minutes. Incredible. Bench had 54 points. No thanks to Kyle "Utah's newest Prophet" Korver and his 1-6 three point shooting. Get your head in the game Kyle...and your hair out of your eyes. On second hand don't, my wife seems to be much happier with you on the court. Go figure.

Final Thoughts: Jazz needed this win. They need every win in their next 11. I can see the going 8-3 in this span and hopefully pressing Portland and Denver for the Division lead. I can't wait for the Denver series to start.

Final Score: Jazz 111, Pacers 89

Did I not get the memo that tonight was Team Dickie and or Turtle Neck night in the Jazz locker room? Or even Argyle Dickie night for that matter. Don't worry, this trend will not catch on...until Kyle Korver starts sporting the Turtle Neck.

(CB Jack whisper to Booner): wanna meet me at GAP tomorrow afternoon to pick one up? Banana Republic has a sale too. See you at 7pm. BFF