12.19.07 Jazz @ Bobcats

Let me start by being completely honest. I watched this game on DVR on purpose because there was no way I could stomach another loss in real time. No real highlights to speak of other than I enjoyed Papa Boozer sitting with the talking heads. It was the most exciting thing I've seen in a Jazz game since the "Quick Changers" at halftime.

I want you to know the only reason I am blogging about this game is because I have to do something to keep my sanity.

Doesn't Ronnie look like he is about to cry in this picture. Don't worry Ron Ron, I'm crying with you. When did Gerald Wallace become the reincarnated Celtics of the 80's? Shoots like Bird, dribbles like Ainge, blocks like Parrish, plays defense like McHale. I hope the Jazz are getting Christmas Cards from all of these mediocre fools who turn in to All-Stars against us. Here is what a few recent cards could say:

Dear Jazzers,

Merry Christmas! Thanks for the opportunity to play in the All-Star game this season. I appreaciate your complete utter lack of defense. Cheers,

Josh Howard

Or this one:

Querido Jazz de Utah,

De agredezco por no guardarme en mis siete anos aqui en el NBA. Espero ver les de nuevo porque asi puedo notar un juego con 60 puntos. Feliz Navidad!

Manu Ginobli

Or a Team Card:

Dear city of Utah,

Thanks for the Division. Finally we are able to win a division despite being the second best team in the Northwest. We have enclosed a box of headbands for you to wear as a team so at least when you're on ESPN people think you're us. Peace out wiggas!

Denver Nuggets

Five Stages Of Grief
1. Denial and Isolation: After the San Antonio game I figured it was over and this was a fluke.
2. Anger: The first loss to Portland. How do you lose this game at home? Pathetic.
3. Bargaining: The Phoenix loss was labeled as a "good loss". "They are just such a good team". Who were we kidding? There is no good losses.
4. Depression: The second Portland loss started me on this stage, and the Hawks loss solidified it.
5. Acceptance: Tonight after losing to the Bobcats I realized we really are a .500 team. Deron has no will to live and has handed his All-Star ticket to Chris Paul . Brewer and AK were once defensive specialists and now are average at best. The Giricek incident was classic. We have fallen apart. This is rock bottom for me. I actually miss Memo.

Let us not lose hope. Following Booners lead, the words of Dwight Shrute:

BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds during the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fist] Not only the years we've been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle [bangs fists again] a never-ending fight, I say to you [bangs again] and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! [applause] Bloggers of MY UTAH JAZZ DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. [even bigger applause as Dwight gives a horrible sounding laugh] No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you Jazz is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers (no offense Booner), and door to door charlatans (Hey Elders). This is our duty to change their perception. I say, Jazzmen– and women – of the world... unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND...Audience: ...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!