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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Why the Jazz lost Game 5

AP Salt Lake City, Utah: The Utah Jazz suffered a blow to their team when Andrei Kirilenko woke up and realized he only had one leg.

As the above picture suggests, the team didn't know he only had one leg until after the game.

"I just play like, you know, leg uh oh...and eh...we give our best efforts but, dey wanted it more. but i mean it's like, you know, i have only one leg so." said Andrei in an interview with CB Jack Thursday. "What hell is Mia Utah Jazz blogg? Is kina like World of Warcraft?". Yes Andrei, it's kind of like that.

Jerry Sloan didn't sound concerned about the fact he would have to play with only 9 legs on the court. When asked about the disadvantage Sloan replied "I just said to him, hey, we played without legs for years. They [Stockton and Malone] always came to play, missing legs or not. He'll have to figure out how to overcome it. I can't go out there an play for him".

Meanwhile Rockets players are feeling confident about their new advantage.

"If they don't think I can hit those shots, and put a one legged man on me, that's fine. I'll just keep hitting the open shot all day" said Rockets F Shane Battier.

"It's my fault AK don't got no leg man. It's my fault. I just think he should be out there in crunch time situations, but I'm only a superstar, what do I know." added Rockets G Treysee McTeary.

Jazz players will try and win the game, despite being out legged. "I just stay hungry you know, and my teammates feed me da ball" Memo Okur suggested (again).

"Ah mayn, AK is great. He's such a vital part of this team. I mean, he plays better D than I do and i got two of them legs." smiled Carlos Boozer showing off his pearly whites.

Thanks to reader Mark who contributed to this story.

Salt Lake City
CB Jack
My Utah Jazz

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Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark said...

It is all so perfectly clear to me now why we lost. This is some damn awesome reporting CB. You need to take over for Steve (I know I'm a midget) Brown and for Pace. We can keep Big T, DB, and you. You r da man!! Love the blog, keep it man.

Masha K. said...

ahh, but you forget Andrei's leg third. heee heee hee.

Ron Boone said...

What the? Keep it clean Masha. Keep it clean. Good article C.B. Good to know we have an excuse ready to go if we blow this thing. Always nice to have some ammo ready.