Let the (Pre-Season) Games Begin

The First Annual "Hammies"

I know its only pre-season and that the games matter about as much as T. Boone Pickens presidential campaign adds do, but I for one am pumped to see some Jazz action again. I can't wait to hear Craig Bolerjack say, "Were coming to you live from..." or to hear Ron Boone say something silly like, " I think the key to winning tonight is to score more points than the opposition". So, before we get the games under way, I want to present my pre-season Jazz team awards.

MVP

This could go to Matt Harpring if he retires and clears his 6 mil off the books, Andrei Kirilenko if he decides to restructure his contract down to 8 or 9 mil per year or CJ Miles if he is indeed the next coming of Larry Bird, but since none of that will happen it goes Deron Williams. Easiest choice of the year, by a long shot.

Bold Prediction: Deron will be the leading League MVP candidate after the first third of the season. Take that Chris Paul!

Most Improved

From the camp reports that I read and the performance in the scrimmage game I think Ronnie Brewer will take this one for a second straight year. Imagine if Ronnie can actually hit the three at about 35% this year, he could be a borderline all-star.

Bold Prediction: Ronnie will be a second or third all NBA defensive team member.

Most Declined

Matt Harpring. All signs point to Matt becoming an after thought for the Jazz as the season wears on. His style of play has finally caught up to him and the young guys are ready to take his place. On a side note, did you guys know that Matt Harpring was a football player?

Bold Prediction: Matt is included in the complicated 4 team deal. See "Most to Gain" below for more details.

Most to Lose

Doesn't this have to be Carlos Boozer as he is looking to opt out and get paid next year? If it's playoff Boozer for 82 games he might as well not opt out because who is going to pay a 15 point, 10 board, 41% shooting no defense PF more than the 13 mil he is guaranteed from the Jazz? On the other hand if he goes 22 and 12 and plays just a smidge of D he will command 5 years and 100 mil and would get it for sure. A not so close second would be Memo as he can opt out as well, but I think at this point you know what you are going to get with Memo and can figure on pretty solid raise for him no matter what.

Bold Prediction: Carlos will average career highs across the board, even on D further proving that money is the best motivator for these athletes.

Most to Prove

CJ Miles, hands down. You got your money, now go out and earn it. And I don't want to hear anyone say that Sloan has to give him a chance. I think its pretty obvious that if you are deserving of playing time over another player, Sloan will give it to you. At the very least CJ should be able to take over Harpring's minutes.

Bold Prediction: CJ averages 10 shot attempts per game in only 10 minutes per game.

Most to Gain

Paul Milsap. Paul, it was nice knowing you. I hope you put up good numbers in Memphis or Oklahoma City next year because you sir are going to get some jack. I really hope the kid gets his and does well for who ever it is, because unless the Jazz let Carlos walk there is no way they can match the 5 year 50 mil deal he is sure to get. Paul's biggest goal this year should be to not blow out his knee and ruin that next contract.

Bold Prediction: Along with Matt Harpring Paul is involved in a complicated 4 team trade signing a long term extension with a new team and bringing the Jazz 1 expiring contract and 2 draft picks from some team that is on the bubble of making the playoffs.

Steadiest Performer

Adrei Kirilenko is going to surprise us this year. He is not going to make us think that he is getting paid what he deserves, but he will make us forget what he is getting paid if that make sense. I think that Andrei has finally "matured" enough to understand his role and is happy doing it.

Bold Prediction: Andrei will very quietly get 2 5x5's and 3 triple doubles this year.

Final Thoughts

So there you have it and like all future tellers I will be happy (outside of Deron for MVP, that is a lock) if I am right on any of these. As a preview of pre-season game number 1 all I can say is that the Jazz will kick the crap out of the Lakers and I hope that Kobe's pinkie falls off as he is getting fouled relentlessly by the Jazz.

Introducing your Bearded Utah Jazz

What do the Jazz need to reach that almighty pinnacle of an NBA Championship?

Facial Hair.

History has shown us that the beard commands attention and power.

Let us take a quick journey together...

Honest Beards: Abe's beard commanded respect, and an entire nation.

The White Wisdom Beard: Moses knew what it would take to have people follow him: A beard (The hand of God helped as well)

The "I'm dead serious" Beard: Brother Brigham led many people through difficult times, knowing that better times were just around the corner.

The "I wish it was real" Beard: Gumdrops and dump trucks. The one beard who has heard almost as many prayers as Jesus.

High Energy Beard: Macho Man knew how to use his beard to harvest his high energy even in to his early 50's.

Been around the Block Beard: ZZ Top knew how to use their beards to become superstars. Even though they never really deserved that title.

"I Pity the Fool" Beard: This vicious combination of Mohawk and beard made us all want to drive a black van with sweet rims.

Seriously, not again Randy.


I'll kill you and smile doing it Beard: This is a beard the Jazz could really use. This beard taught us that you never quit.

Funny Beard: Beards that didn't last nearly long enough. Their lives were short, but sweet.

I just made Beards cool: You can always raise your game a notch by showing up on a big night with one of these bad boys.




Smart Beard: Apple wouldn't be where it was today if it wasn't for the smartest most inventive beard on the planet.




So if you want to win an NBA championship, what do you do?

That's right. Release the facial hair. Boozer got us started with his "Bald But Beardy" look during the playoffs last year. Deron followed suit with his "Team USA Serious" beard. Memo showed up to camp with his "A year older and wiser Euro Beard". And last but not least Ronnie is still sporting his High School Sophomore mustache/patchy thing. The only guy left out is AK, which is surprising because with a prominent chin like his, you'd think he do whatever it took to compensate.

Let's break down each player and what beard they need in order to step their game up this season.

Andrei Kirilenko
Needs Steve Jobs' beard for his brains and ability to adapt.
Needs Santa Claus' beard for his ability to bring out the best in others.
Needs ZZ Tops beard to quit looking like a 17 year old.

Memo
Needs honest Abe's beard to keep him true to his position and play some interior D like he is supposed to .
Needs Macho Man Randy Savage's beard to build a fire in him and keep his energy level up the entire season.

Ronnie Brewer
Needs a Moses' beard to get a little older and more mature.
Needs one of the 300 beards to get that killer instinct and not give into all the prime time two guards he'll be facing this season.

Carlos Boozer
Needs Honest Abe's beard more than anyone in the league.
Needs Mr. T's beard to help him scare the bejesus out of anyone who steps in front of him in the paint. Ditch the little hook Booz and take it to them hard.

Deron Williams
This guy has a little of each of these beards.
Needs a little more Moses' beard to help him make wise decisions and take a game over when needed.
Needs Jim Halpert's beard to help him become the next big thing in the NBA and get in some high profile endorsements.
Needs Conan and Dave's beard to take his interviews a little less serious and let his true funny personality come through.
Needs brother Brigham's beard to help lead Jazz Nation to Zion and the Larry O'Brien trophy.

So there you have it. Put that Barbasol away Jazz men, because we are calling out the Facial Hair Gods to smile on you and take your game to the next level.

Go Jazz!

John Hollinger is the smartest man alive

After yesterday's clearly erroneous power rankings, John Hollinger has released his predictions for the upcoming NBA season.  Instead of barely making the top third, Hollinger is predicting the Jazz to be the #1 seed in the West, and, in his subsequent chat, announced that he is picking a Utah/Boston finals.

His analysis of the team is pretty spot on.  He lists the biggest weakness as interior defense which we here at True Blue Jazz have been complaining about for quite some time.  The biggest strength, Hollinger claims, is interior scoring, which is pretty accurate since the Jazz are a layup team (which is also why they are always at or near the top of the FG% list).

Hollinger lays out the West like this (remember this ISN'T a power ranking, but a prediction of how the seeding will end up):

1. Jazz
2. Lakers
3. Rockets
4. Hornets
5. Spurs
6. Suns (tie with Mavs)
   
7. Mavs (tie with Suns)
8. Blazers

This seams pretty reasonable to me.  Obviously there are a LOT of games to be played and injuries always play a big factor, but, in our opinion, Hollinger is on the right track.

Marc Stein is a MORON!!

So Marc Stein of ESPN.com released his first power rankings of the new season and I have a few things to say about it. I understand that he says this is not a predicted order of finish, but rather an outlook of the season heading into camp. Whatever, you still suck Stein.

1 - I am okay with his top 2 teams. Boston has to be first and the Lakers have to be second, done and done.

It goes down hill from there for Mr. Stein.

2 - New Orleans comes in at #3. Enough with the Chris Paul love affair already. Did he somehow accidentally walk into a full blown orgy that all of the media people were having and is now black-mailing all of them with the pictures? We get it, he's good, but answer me this - Who was the better player for team USA, Chris Paul or Deron Williams? Even the most biased Chris Paul homer has to admit that those two played to a dead draw in the Olympics. Is there any real difference between the Jazz and Hornets? The way I see it, these two teams are pretty dead even.

3 - Houston at #4. How many times does Tracy McGrady have to get beaten in the first round of the playoffs before the media wises up and stops picking them? Apparently the answer is at least one more time.

4 - Next come the Spurs at #5, Cavs at #6 and Pistons at #7. Maybe its okay to put the Spurs here because they have proven over time that they are capable of winning in the post season. (Which is the exact opposite of the Rockets and how they got their ranking by the way.) Cavs are once again a one trick pony and the Pistons have been paper tigers for the last 4 years.

5 - The Sixers are in at #8. This is where Marc Stein must have started feeling the effects of that late night in New Orleans buying drinks for Chris Paul. He put the effing 76ers ahead of the Jazz. Elton Brand has done absolutely nothing in his career. Elton Brand and Tracy McGrady are the two players with the most talent, but least to show for it in the league. The Sixers are going to be better for sure, but there is no way they have a better outlook for the season than the Jazz (See # 6 for proof).

6 - Finally we see the Jazz come in at #9. I am keeping in mind that Stein's rankings are supposedly reflective of what the teams did during the off season and their outlook for the 08-09 season ahead so with that being said these are some of the hi-lights for the Jazz this summer:

• Boozer and Williams play for team USA and were the only teammates to do so.
• Deron Williams signs his extension and officially takes over the keys of the team
• AK keeps his mouth shut and also gets good practice in during the Olympics
• Memo gets healthy healing his bad back and left foot
• Ron Brewer gets a year better and spends 3 hours per day in the gym working on his jumper
• Jason Shart is sent packing back to LA for Brevin Knight who is just happy to be here

Just because the Jazz did not sign a drug-addict or a crazy guy during the off season does not mean they had a bad one. Everything the Jazz did was positive for the upcoming year. There is no animosity on this team right now, everyone is healthy and happy to be together. You can reasonably expect that except for Harpring, Collins and Brevin Knight all of the Jazz players will be better than they were last year due to being a year better not a year older. The main core of players are all under 30 and still in the prime of their careers. Give me one negative thing that happened to the Jazz over the summer that will impact this coming year? Even the dumb-ass signing of CJ Miles does not impact them negatively this year. This was the most boring summer ever to be a Jazz fan and that has to be a good thing.

As for the rest of the rankings, the Nuggets were in at 18 and that seems about right. I really did not care to see how the rest of them shook out after realizing that Marc Stein is a MORON!

Denver > SLC? Depends who you ask.

Once again I post in an effort to keep the healthy rivalry we have with the NuggDoctor and Denver McNuggets fans in general alive. The season opener is October 29th when our Utah Jazz will play host to the Carmelo Anthony-less Denver Nuggets. One of the NuggDoctors readers (The persons name is Kayce so it seems to be more of a female spelling to me) decided to post his/her thoughts on how The SLC has an inferiority complex to Denver. I can't resist. Let's discuss each claim and then follow it with a fact.


Claim #1: Denver fans claim they would rather have this guy

and this guy

and this guy

playing for them rather than AK and Korver.

Domestic Assault + DUI + Violating the NBA drug policy = Your Denver Nuggets

Fact: Jazz players are far better people than any of the Denver Nuggets. Here's proof.

Kirilenko's Kids

Korver in Africa

Deron allowing Doug Collins to wear his Gold Medal as a tribute to the 1972 medal boycott

Freebie from wife + Ashton look-a-like + 2 Gold Medal winners = Your Classy Utah Jazz


Claim #2. Denver fans think they have a better skyline than Salt Lake City.

Denver

Fact: This is true. And with that skyline comes a higher crime rate, increased reports of STD's, and more pollution. You can keep your superior skyline.

Salt Lake City

Claim #3. McNugget fans believe that 2 Nuggets fans can come into the ESA and cheer louder than all the Jazz fans combined. Those Denver fans know how to support their team.

Fact: This was when I realized that Denver fans have too much beer at their fingertips. Do a simple Google search of "loudest NBA arena". This is the first result to populate.

And here is another random post from a group of NBA fans talking about the loudest arena in the NBA. I don't exactly see The Pepsi Center in any of those lists.

Note from the Blogger:
Personal Experience: January 2007 my wife and I made a trip to Denver to watch the Jazz play the McNuggets.

I can tell you first hand, the Pepsi Center crowd was too drunk to realize a basketball game was going on. Although we were impressed at the number of fans who adorned themselves in Nugget blue. That was impressive. However as the Jazz took a 20+ point lead in the game, the crowd was more interested in frat boy drinking games and playing "What Nugget dancer has carried the most STD's at one time". Exciting games for fans to play, but overall it was a less than exciting arena. We didn't even get heckled for being decked out in Jazz gear. Maybe our Jazz attire needed to be written in Spanish for anyone to read it.

Claim #4: Denver is a superior sports city.

Fact: This too is true. Denver has NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA and these guys.


Claim #5: Utah mountains are inferior to Colorado mountains.

Fact: 2002 Olympic Winter Games. Greatest Snow on Earth. Brigham Young passed through Denver without saying "This is the place".

So there you go. Perhaps we're a little biased (we certainly don't think so). We'll leave it up to you to decide which city you'd rather call home. But remember, if you live in Denver you're more likely to be hit by a drunk driver. You're also more likely to be standing in line at a horrible airport. You're also more likely to be mugged, raped, get addicted to meth and find yourself living on moldy Big Mac buns from a McDonald's dumpster. I'm just sayin'.

Go Jazz!
Go Salt Lake City!

I present to you...your Denver Thuggetts!

Our thuggish ruggish friends at the Nugg Doctor put together a nice little clip of our handsome boys Kyle and Andrei. Considering the fact that High School Musical 3 was filmed about 5 minutes away from both of their houses, this is probably a little more real than the Nugg Doctor realized. Also, don't forget that Andrei does get one "free pass" from Masha...

I found this video thanks to the Denver Narcotics Unit and guess who we found all looking for a quick fix...three of your beloved Denver Thuggets!

So without further adieu...get excited Denver Nuggets fans...Here are the players who will lead you to the 10th spot in the West this season!!

(see video in post below)

I hate you Denver Nuggets.

Let's get the season started!

Oh and let's start preparing for the Denver fans crying about how Melo will be suspended for the season opener...here's an idea. Don't drink and drive and perhaps you will get to play in more games.

Your Denver Thuggetts

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Jazz Announce New Variable Ticket Pricing Plans

Here's the deal, there are now 3 possible prices for a game ticket:

1. Regular individual game price - Face value ticket from box office or 355-DUNK or whatever.
2. Season ticket holder price - Discounted price because you're probably already spending 2 grand. Upper bowl season tickets have been half price for a couple seasons now I think.
3. The all new Premium Price - The press release doesn't say exactly what this means, but it doesn't take a marketing degree to realize this means HIGHER PRICE.

There are currently 10 games designated PREMIUM PRICE games: November 28 vs. Sacramento; November 29 vs. New Jersey; December 3 vs. Miami; December 26 vs. Dallas; January 24 vs. Cleveland; February 11 vs. L.A. Lakers; February 19 vs. Boston; February 21 vs. New Orleans; March 6 vs. Denver and March 28 vs. Phoenix.

Lakers, Cavs, Celtics, Hornets, etc....yeah these are going to be expensive tickets. Just one more way the NBA can shut out the regular guy! Jazz senior vice president of sales and marketing, Jim Olson, commented that "for some time there has been a growing trend in professional sports toward variable pricing," and that "This move creates additional resources that allow
us to deal with the ever increasing costs of operating a professional
sports franchise. We also continue to look for more ways to add value
and recognize our longtime season ticket holders and reward them for
their financial commitment to the organization." Here's the translation: "Everyone else is already doing it and it's going to make us a lot of money, especially from people we're already fleecing." Yay capitalism!

NBA "Experts" Predictions Vs. Mine

"Someone please pay-us some attention. No one ever does."

First of all, Congratulations go out to C.B. Jack and his wife on the birth of their twin boys last week. Korver and Memo are doing well and should be heading home tomorrow. If you've seen the boys room and wardrobe it's safe to say Jazz Nation has just added two more fans. Congrats C.B. Jack and Family.

Anyhow, while reading the latest on the NFL I happened to accidentally hit "NBA" while surfing ESPN.com today and came across this: (I say accidentally because, due to lack of activity, there has been no reason to view that page for over a month now.)

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?page=ConferenceChamps-080911

A page full of predictions by NBA experts. Doesn't look like the Jazz are getting much love, or I should say, any more love than they ever get. I won't spoil any of the predictions, I'll let you click through them, but don't get your hopes up.

Not that we have reason to expect anything more than what we have done over the last two years. We have done very little to add to D-Will's team. Is there a deal in the works? I doubt it, but I'll keep crossing my fingers.

I hate to continue the negative post, but my biggest complaint in all of this is the lack of respect Deron Williams receives. Every year, every article, it's Kobe, Lebron, CP3 and D-Wade. Blah, blah, blah. At some point they HAVE to throw D-Will's name out there. Yes, we are the lowly Jazz from tiny-market SLC. But please, the guy needs to be mentioned and mentioned fast before these so-called "experts" start losing credibility. Fee free to think outside of the token four or five stars and look at other players who carry their team. Yes, I am a D-Will Homer, all of us Jazz fans are. But no more is it simply because he is the best player on a sub-par team. He is the best player on a very good team.

There, I feel better now. I figured if there was anyone I could vent to it would be my fellow Jazz homers.

Here are my un-biased predictions for the 2008-2009 Season:

Western Conference Champs: Utah Jazz

NBA Champs: Utah Jazz

MVP: Deron Williams

Rookie of the Year: Deron Williams (He's still eligible, I looked it up)

Coach of the Year: Hubie Brown (Sloan gets snubbed again as Hubie comes back to coach the T-Wolves to a .500 season.)

See, those are as fair and un-biased as they get. Please leave your predictions in the comment field. Go Jazz!

Booner

Seriously...NOTHING is going on

Watch the BYU / UCLA game tomorrow, should be a good one. And certainly better than Utah (-24) vs Utah State High School (who also happen to be in ESPN's bottom 10 poll). They're not on at the same time, but seriously, do you really want to be watching football ALL DAY? You do? Oh, well, alright then, go Utes.

[update:] it's 42-0 at halftime, clearly I was wrong. Watch the Utes instead.